Help me keep PORN off my computer!


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Little_One
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I am A Stalkee from Texas
Member for 5 years 22 weeks
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Hey guys. I am so embarrassed that I even have to ask this but I really have no idea what I'm doing here. This is crazy and maybe its not even a big deal to some people and I never thought it would be a big deal to me but now it is. I very recently discovered that my husband has been looking at porn online while I'm asleep. From the history library on Firefox it shows that he spends hours on this porn site and watches all these disgusting videos. Its been going on for at least 3 weeks now from what the history tab shows me.
When I busted him, of course I confronted him, and he tried to deny his problem at first but then I checked the history and he couldn't lie anymore. (I feel weird typing this). So he says he feels bad and will not go on those sites again but now I'm looking for a kind of free parental control application I can use for our computer. Something that will block those kind of sites from even being accessed. Does anyone have any suggestions? I saw something called ProCon Latte for Firefox but I'm not sure about it.
Help please! I'm desperate and confused. lol

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Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!
porn is like a drug it can be habbit forming understanding that i would suggest you tell him either its your ass or the highway
Little_One
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I am A Stalkee from Texas
Member for 5 years 22 weeks
GuG-Points: 32
Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

Thanks everybody for your input/advice. I know that all of you are right and I am definitely reflecting on that instead of what my initial reaction was. I talked to him about all of it and I think it will all work out - he says that he's glad I caught him because now he can be honest about it. So we'll see! Wink

Hot2na
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Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

Little_One wrote:

I talked to him about all of it and I think it will all work out - he says that he's glad I caught him because now he can be honest about it.

communication + trust = a wonderful thing Wink

><))))'>  

ArchiAngel
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I am Luvin TheGuG from Pahoa,HI
Member for 6 years 31 weeks
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Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

Hot2na wrote:

Little_One wrote:

I talked to him about all of it and I think it will all work out - he says that he's glad I caught him because now he can be honest about it.

communication + trust = a wonderful thing Wink

><))))'>  

 

So, could be, giving him no reason to need to look at porn.

Wonder if she got a Naughty Policewoman ot Naughty Firefighter outfit  lyhing around?

Perhaps a Plaid Skirt, Knee high White sox, a feminie Dress shirt, big rimmed glasses,ribbon for braieded hair?

A video camera and mirrors  to make their own Scences with chessy lines and bad lines included? (Don't actually hit record, these things "get lost" you know )

Spicing up the relationship with "role playing"  does wonders in curbing the desire or "need" for porn

Hey_You
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I am Here to learn from others
Member for 5 years 22 weeks
GuG-Points: 209
Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

Maybe it's just me, but I found this awfully insulting and condescending.  Sometimes people just aren't into role playing, what then?   What if her husband was looking at hard core midget threesomes?  She might be hard-pressed to find something that fulfills such a fantasy.  Tongue

Porn is also most of the time just a fantasy.  It in no way implies unhappiness with the current partner.  It's like looking at a car magazine and ogling the beautiful Lamborghinis and Ferraris you'll never be able to own.

If a woman must do some kind of dressing up, might I suggest a different line of lingerie?  Nothing as objectifying as a costume.   Sometimes just having some new eye candy would be all it takes to seriously recharge a guy's batteries... Wink

Almost Evil
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I am new here at GrownUpGeek.Com from Sunny California
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Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

 Some of the most popular, highest selling, best retaining porn sites are women with that everyday, girl-next-door look. Very light, natural makeup. Fun, everyday clothing. Guys tend to fantasize about women they might actually have a chance with- if that makes sense. The super-star pornlet with 100lbs of makeup in a supergirl latex costume- thats not very realistic. Turns out a lot of guys like normal, everyday women! Yay for us!

"So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb. "

Hot2na
I am checking out GrownUpGeek.Com
Member for 7 years 11 weeks
GuG-Points: 273
Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

Almost Evil wrote:

Turns out a lot of guys like normal, everyday women! Yay for us!

yay for us is right! i am very much normal, a little off tilt when i choose to be, but also do wear the plaid mini + thigh high's ensemble. doesn't every good house wife

 

><))))'>  

Hey_You
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Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

Oh trust me, being one, I know that certain guys are very much into "normal" women.  I'll prove it if I have to.  Say, dinner after the Super Bowl?  Or perhaps lunch duringLaughing out loud

Seriously though (to continue being serious that is lol) I've never seen a "normal" (i.e. nonslut or underage) girl wear a school girl uniform for any reason except for ya know, school.

- - - - - - - - - -

Please help me with a computer game here

Almost Evil
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I am new here at GrownUpGeek.Com from Sunny California
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Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

 Glad to hear that! Hope things work out smoothly for you Smile

"So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb. "

Hey_You
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I am Here to learn from others
Member for 5 years 22 weeks
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Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

Something you should keep in mind is that sometimes porn sites will automatically open up a bunch of other windows advertising other porn affiliates.  These are likely to be saved into the browser's history, but were never actually what your husband was wanting to look at.  This can give the impression he was looking at far more than he really was.

Hot2na
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GuG-Points: 273
Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

Little_One wrote:

I'm desperate and confused.

okay, Hubby took this in a direction that i wish i was brave enough to on my first response. Hubby has always given solid sound advice and has never disappointed me yet. with that said, let me give you a married woman's point of view. mine. 19-years of uninterrupted pure wedded bliss that never left the honeymoon stage:

Little_One it may be shocking to hear/read from another woman, but "if you can't beat him...join him." other women, like myself, not only allow it but join their spouse in doing such. for some, the result is a closer more intimate relationship with their husband/partner. for others, it completely turned the husband off and they quit lurking online. you may find it repulsive, but just encourage him to view w/you and then see how he responds. there are those men that just enjoy the entire process of sneaking a peek. if you put a damper on his fun, it may cure him.

><))))'>  

Little_One
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I am A Stalkee from Texas
Member for 5 years 22 weeks
GuG-Points: 32
Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

Thanks too - I think thats my problem: I am fine with it if we view it together - we have on occasion a couple of years ago. But the fact that he was keeping it a secret from me and denying that he looked at it so much is what bothers me. It gets me paranoid thinking that there may be other things he's hiding from me. I do not know.

Almost Evil
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I am new here at GrownUpGeek.Com from Sunny California
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GuG-Points: 7630
Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

Little_One wrote:

. But the fact that he was keeping it a secret from me and denying that he looked at it so much is what bothers me. It gets me paranoid thinking that there may be other things he's hiding from me. I do not know.

 

That seems to be the root of the problem here, not porn. Porn isnt "bad" but anything thats hidden from a spouse turns into something "bad" b/c its a secret. The fact that so many people keep their fantasies a secret is what makes it dirty and shameful. Instead, take the chance to explore your fantasies together. Tell him that this secret makes you have doubts about the security of your marriage and youd rather share with him than find out 'dirty little secrets' Maybe this can actually be a turning point for something good in your marriage. Try looking at it in a positive light- spice things up! Smile

"At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid."

Bear
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I am the boy your mother warned you about
Member for 5 years 47 weeks
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Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

 Well said, Evil.

 

"it's down a rugged road you've come. though you had every reason you didn't come undone.  somehow you made it to the other side.  you didn't suffer in vain"

Hot2na
I am checking out GrownUpGeek.Com
Member for 7 years 11 weeks
GuG-Points: 273
Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

Little_One wrote:

Thanks too - I think thats my problem: I am fine with it if we view it together - we have on occasion a couple of years ago.

there you go! initiate the process. make it YOUR idea next time.

><))))'>  

Jarret
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I am Here to help others from California
Member for 5 years 23 weeks
GuG-Points: 43
Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

Definitely try watching porn with him! Most guys find it a major turn on to watch porn with their partners.

When I was with my ex I loved to watch porn with her as it always led to better sex. Plus, the fact that I could cue in on what really turned her on and please her even more Wink

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Hubby
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I am a Grown Up Geek
Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

It seems to me that this is not a 'computer problem' - this is a 'husband problem' - or more likely a 'husband and wife' problem.
Even if you are able to block all of this content from your web-browser (which i doubt), wont he just go elsewhere like Newsgroups, P2P, proxies, Cable TV, or magazines.. Then, even if you were able to keep him away from those, where does he turn? the only thing left, "real life" ?

It just seems that unless the two of you (yes, BOTH of you) get to the root of the issue, you will just be playing a continuous game of whack-a-mole, and never really deal with whatever the real problem is.

Of course there is the whole other can of worms to open: "whats really wrong with him doing this anyway?" I'm not saying you are wrong, nor am I saying what he's doing is right - i'm just pointing out that many people see no harm in this at all (as long as it's not affecting his life, financial well-being, etc).. maybe the fact that you feel it's disgusting and he feels that it's acceptable is something to talk about?

I dunno.. I'm just sayin..

Little_One
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I am A Stalkee from Texas
Member for 5 years 22 weeks
GuG-Points: 32
Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

No, I think you are right Hubby. I thought of that in the first place - I guess its just easier to do this instead of dealing with the real problem. (I'm not even totally against porn I think my problem is more that he was keeping it a secret from me - which makes it seem weird). He hasn't been acting differently or anything either. This is just so new to me. Thanks for being straight out. I always appreciate that!

Hot2na
I am checking out GrownUpGeek.Com
Member for 7 years 11 weeks
GuG-Points: 273
Re: Help me keep PORN off my computer!

Safe Eyes is a great program that will do all you are seeking. however, it is not free. you can download a 15-day free trial to see if that will the trick.

this site lists the Top 5.

and there are many free downloads and freeware to consider, here.

><))))'>  

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