Coffee Makes the World Go Round - What's Your Flava?

‘I’mSoHighThatI’mWritingLikeAFrigginCaveman’. That didn’t make sense, did it? I know that you are silently nodding your head in acknowledgement because I can literally feel it. But while doing so, don’t blame me for writing a sentence like an idiot - it’s one of “those” things which coffee does to me while I’m high on it.

Let me fill you in on a little world class adventure of how I got sucked into savoring the sweet nectar off those granular Java beans, became a writer on the internet, learned how to do a handstand, became an Emo, hit a kid with my car, and did a lot of crazy things.

Strap in fellas – it’s going to be a bumpy ride.


Coffee Makes the World Go Round – My Unfinished Story

I’ve always been a lucubrator. Some people think that this particular word has got something to do with staying up late at night and getting off to a steamy 20 minute video scene with lots of ‘silicone mounds, ooohs, aahhs and pleasure filled sighs’.

Well, the good news is that you got the staying-up-late-at-night part right; the weird thing is that lucubrate resonates with the act of working hard for your goals, ambitions and dreams while the rest of the world is silently snoring. So… lucubrate does not mean masturbate; the folks at Urban Dictionary still think it does though, but let’s not go into those details.

Anyway, in a nutshell, while you’re probably in the habit of waking up early and yapping ‘Hello Kitty’ songs in a chippy lollipop voice, I’m one of those people, who are sleeping amidst the passionate throes of warm bed sheets and a broken side table alarm clock. That doesn’t mean that I hate morning folks; it’s just that mornings have become a little too hectic now.

Coffee is what makes me more active. Sipping a thermos to the smell of my own sweaty clothes and lightning fast typing speed is when my happy hours start rollin’ in. At this particular point, you are imagining me as a grumpy guy who has got an abundance of unshaved hair all over his body, bad breath and a hoarse voice. I hate to break it to you, but I’m perfectly normal, good looking and in a great state of accepting proposals from love lorn female counterparts.


What Does This Particular Topic Have to Do With This Reality Byte?

Yep, that’s an interesting question and I’ll get to it in a couple of paragraphs. In a general sense, when compared with plagues, Bloody Mary’s, mugs of beer and hot water, coffee is perhaps the only beverage that the world is always going to remember in good words. We are a caffeine addicted nation and those of us who aren’t used to it yet; they’ll eventually convert into caffeine zombies.

I like to think that this mild/ psychologically approved addiction can be used to do great things. I also like to think that caffeine, alone, has the potency of making men and women do crazy things. These things are sometimes funny and mostly quite dangerous to a person’s own health or the people surrounding him/ her. What matters is how you put your foot in the mouth in the right manner.

One of the main reasons for writing about this subject was an involvement of different geeky elements in it. Long before the evolution of the internet, people used to drink coffee but the overall trend wasn’t a fad in those days. Just when the Web 2.0 generation started growing up, it was the time when coffee took over the entire world like a ball of swarming insects.

It was the web, combined with a tad bit of bummer TV ads and billboards that are getting us addicted to multiple flavors of lattes, energy drinks and a whole lot of a “winner” attitude. Am I here to raise a voice against it and put an end to the coffee madness? Hell, no. I’m here to say it’s safe to drink it, when taken in small doses of happiness and especially during those particular moments of life when something feels impossible.


Coffee Mugs, Crappy Internet Connections and Computers are The New Thing:

Writing about caffeine, when at the same time this stuff is coursing through my veins, is perhaps the perfect time to hammer out some thoughts. According to Leysia Palen, a random professor whose opinion, instead of her face, matters a lot, coffee shops and computers are now becoming a cognitive trend. She believes that computers, online blogs and caffeine should be embraced by and large.

Likewise, author of “Everything But Coffee”, Bryant Simons, likes to think that it is only during the last decade that coffee has invaded the creative economic sector and the online world altogether. Prior to the last 15 years’ time period, coffee was perhaps a household name, and Wi-Fi cafes rarely served it.

On top of everything else, coffee shops are now implementing a very nice strategy to retain customers. They have got clean bathrooms, they have got air conditioned environment and an indirect message to let you know that no one’s going to bother anyone in there. Take the example of some of those Starbucks branches; one can easily notice the furniture décor that kinds of promotes a solo patron sense of isolation for the “bug me not” types.

Aside from computers, the real life application of caffeine addiction is pretty common. Intolerant behavior in a 3 man queue in front of a public office, reckless driving, cursing, impatience, fidgeting, headaches, severe withdrawal side effects and etc; these are all symptoms of chugging down too much caffeine for one day.

It’s like having one of those really horrible Freddy Krueger dreams where you are the only person who can save himself/herself from getting gnawed by the claws of death. My job is to create awareness about caffeine; your job is NOT to stop consuming it. Just make sure that it’s not in high doses.



This concludes the first part of this post. Stay tuned for a flow of rants about my withdrawal attempt, what science has to say about caffeine and how you can properly adjust a day’s serving of coffee within your cozy lifestyle.



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