Advice for a sister in law

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berryfairy
Advice for a sister in law

Here is my deal, I married the love of my life last year. We have known each other for 15 plus years and in September of last year we drove his little sister (23) to Colorado to get help, she uses drugs and prostitutes. She wanted us to drive her there to get her out of the situation she was in. WE DROVE HER 20 hours just so she could turn around 1 month later and come home, her pimp as she calls him paid her way home. She is now 6 months pregnant lives at home with their mother and has her "pimp" bring her crack everyday oh did I mention only 1 doctors appointment this whole time. I had not seen her in a couple of months so I was truly hoping for a miracle that she would have realized that she was carrying a precious gift inside of her and well it has not happened, Saturday night she was freaking out because he had not stopped by yet to bring her her crack. Her mother feels like she can not control her so she just sits back and watches while she puffs away on her crack pipe. She feels like once the baby is born, has problems and CPS gets involved that she will end up with the baby anyways. Not only does girl smoke crack she drinks, smokes ciggs and looks as if she was about 3 or 4 months pregnant. No one seems to say anything to her, I DON'T GET IT. They are all so tight nit that I feel like if I say one word I will be the monster. It breaks my heart to watch all of this go on. Is there anyone out there that has any advice???? I feel like this entire family does not deserve this child and someone outside of the family needs to raise it if it survives another 3 months of drugs. I called a help line today just to see what I could do, I know where this pimp works (he owns a towing company) and I even have a number for him, she called him Saturday night from my cell. I am just afraid that if I call the cops on him he will come after me, if I call CPS now the entire family will hate me and honestly I shouldn't care but I do have to be around them forever! I shouldn't feel like that, these people should feel the way I do, maybe they do but they just don't try to stop her. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....

   

   

snazzy
Re: Advice for a sister in law

it sounds like you are being the only true friend this woman (and baby) has. i dont envy your position at all. my only sugestion is that you be a friend to her and be honest to her one on one first. i think you need support with this but it sounds like you may be on your own. if your help alone doesnt work then you need to at least hint to other people in the family about your concerns. they might be feeling as helpless as you are without another family member there to offer support and suggestions. weigh your options and definately speak with your husband about this. he is your closest link and should be your most trusted advisor. my prayers go out to this baby.

 

~No pressure, no diamonds.~

berryfairy
Re: Advice for a sister in law

Honestly my husband has tried and tried talking to her, it does no good. I feel like she has no desire to make this baby healthy. It is almost like she is doing more so that she looses it. She thinks she is fat and disgusting and hates the thought of having a girl, not that she has a clue what it is. Thank you for your prayers, they are very much needed.

Hot2na
Re: Advice for a sister in law

here is an 'eHow To' guide on anonymously reporting to CPS. many states do have 800 number hot-lines in place.

><))))'>  

snazzy
Re: Advice for a sister in law

in that case i think the child is doomed. very VERY sad! i would say follow AE's advice then and try not to save everyone. she has to have some concern at least for her unborn child. if not she may be a lost cause even though its probably just the drugs that are talking. i dont think id want her OR her family raising this child if it made it. it deserves so much better.

 

and i still think the doctor has some moral obligation to report her. even with just one visit.

~No pressure, no diamonds.~

sunshine23
Re: Advice for a sister in law

Wow! What a Mess! You really cannot reason with a person who abuses hard drugs...so trying to would be a wasted effort. If I were in your position, I would report her to CPS. I would not be able to sit by and do nothing. It is all for the innocent baby's sake. I would definitely try to do it anonymously to protect yourself and your family. I do not know what CPS will do to help the situation, but at least you will know you did what you could. I agree with AE in many aspects that you cannot save people from themselves...but maybe the authorities can do something that allows the baby to start his/her life in a more healthy environment. Please, keep us posted.

Hot2na
Re: Advice for a sister in law

is SIL receiving prenatal care? if so, any and/or all substances she is abusing will show up in her blood/urine work-ups at the OB/Gyn office. hopefully it is just a matter of time. if it were me wearing your shoes, i'd take her asss down. family included. why? why not? the family isn't doing anything about it <-- what are they hiding? what do they fear?

for the unborn child's safety & future well being. make the call. <-- that's my advice.

 

><))))'>  

berryfairy
Re: Advice for a sister in law

She has only been once, when she was 7 weeks, the doctor she was using dropped her due to not showing up to her appointments. I do want to take her butt down but that side of the family scares me a little. I think the only thing they fear is that she will run off have the baby and they will never see it. Thanks for your advice, I will let you know how it works out.

Almost Evil
Re: Advice for a sister in law

 You cant save everyone. She has put herself in this situation, and apparently her immediate family has no plans/inclination to get her out. I realize my advice is opposite everyone else (it usually is) but dont try to be the savior. Some people cant and wont be saved. Plus you WILL put your own life at risk. Her pimp will not be pleased and will most likely come after you. It shouldnt be that way, but is she really worth you and your family's safety? Sometimes people just have to find their own way out of the he!l they made for themselves. After she gives birth, maybe you can go the CPS route and have the child removed. But just so you know, the chances of that happening are slim if her family isnt going to corroborate your story. Im sorry you are in this situation.

 

"If lightning strikes twice, I dont want to be standing next to you! "

PrincessB
Re: Advice for a sister in law

What an extremely sad situation. If you can't call cps maybe you could have the police check in on things. I know that sounds extreme, but she can't harm the baby anymore from a jail cell. That said i doubt I could do that to a family member either, but if the baby is born with drugs in their system the hospital will likely have the girl sent to jail anyway. Ugh. I can't imagine what you and your family are going through. Check around call some of the anonymous lines that were suggested and then decide what you need to do.

berryfairy
Re: Advice for a sister in law

Well some ok news...she is in the hospital due to a kidney infection, at least the baby will have a few days without the crack...honestly I have a feeling she will try to leave before they are ready to discharge her. I am calling today to speak with the hospital to see if they can send her a counselor or something. I will keep you posted.

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