Advice for a sister in law

28 posts / 0 new
Last post

   

   

Hot2na
Re: Advice for a sister in law

berryfairy wrote:
I am calling today to speak with the hospital to see if they can send her a counselor or something.

good for you. if it were me, i would preface my conversation on the telephone with the right to speak anonymously. good luck. i wish a speedy recovery for SIL, and hope the fetus is unaffected by all of this.

><))))'>  

snazzy
Re: Advice for a sister in law

what about a baker act? i dont know about other states but in fl you can have someone evaluated and kept in physicians care for, i think, 2 days if they are a threat to themselves or others.

~No pressure, no diamonds.~

Hot2na
Re: Advice for a sister in law

snazzy wrote:

what about a baker act?

that's a thought. SIL may meet the 5150 criteria -- if it can be proven she is a danger to herself or 'others.' <-- other may qualify as unborn child.

><))))'>  

Zoo Keeper
Re: Advice for a sister in law

This is one of those topics that I usually stay out of due to very strong feelings about children. I have spent 15 years working with children and their families...the good, the bad, and the really, really ugly.I have cared for the children that come from families such as this and my temper flares when I read these things. I don't think I'll ever stop getting nauseous about it...but anyway here goes....

You need to call CPS, period. I don't know what state you are in but this is considered child abuse by all state standards....just because the baby is not born yet doesn't mean it is not recognized as being abused. You can chose to remain anonymous but you need to call. You need to report. Someday you are going to look that child in the eye (if it lives long enough) and have to acknowledge you did nothing if you don't report it. I am quite sure that physical damage has been done inutero to the child already and it will surely be born drug addicted.

Let me tell you how it looks after birth: The withdrawals will be extrememly painful for the child and very hard for the mother to handle compounded by what will probably be her own continued drug use after birth. She will get easily frustrated as she looks for her next fix. Her drugs will come before the baby's needs including diapers and formula. Eventually she will figure out that she can get money from welfare because she has a child...money that will feed her drug habit and not her child. Gradually the child will be left to it's own devices in a crib or playpen while she gets high and suffer from "failure to thrive." To get it's needs met the baby will fuss more and be considered "difficult" if not a few other choice words by the mother who will most likely strike out at the child to silence it. Thus begins the pattern of child abuse...

I'm going to stop there because I have seen much worse in my role as CASA and instructor. At the very least tell the doctor in the hospital now...not later...not tomorrow but now. Every child deserves a fighting chance and this one already has so many things stacked against it...

MyOwnGirl
Re: Advice for a sister in law

Zoo Keeper wrote:

You need to call CPS, period. 

I agree with Zoo Keeper. Call CPS. Just because CPS is involved doen't mean they know the whole story. I have heard of women being held in a facility until they give birth. Bring that up to CPS. Who cares what the family thinks. At least the baby will have a better chance.

berryfairy
Re: Advice for a sister in law

hmmm...never heard of it but I will look it up. We went to the hospital last night to see her and she said her drug test came back positive for pot and that was it. They told her she now has a caseworker and if she has one more dirty test thing CPS will step in. She swore yesterday that she hasn't been smoking crack, very hard to believe. One positive thing did come out of her mouth, she said she got ill when they brought her breakfast and they had just given her two vicodin and asked her because she threw up if she wanted more, she said no because she didn't want to risk of taking four since she was pregnant, I about fell out of my chair. So I will keep praying and hope for the best.

Zoo Keeper
Re: Advice for a sister in law

I am so glad to hear it, berryfairy! She is now on their radar without you having to be the person who did it so your family peace is kept as is your peace of mind. Sadly the fetus will probably still be born addicted and will most likely have developmental delays. However, if Mom gets clean between now and then she'll have better chances of coping with her child's needs than she would if she was still using. Mom is going to need a lot of support after the baby's born to not go back to using while she cares for what will be a very stressful baby....be there for all as it sounds like you want to be. Good luck to all...

snazzy
Re: Advice for a sister in law

i am on the fence hearing this news. one side of me is extremely relieved for both you and your family. the other side of me questions her honesty if she was the one telling you she only had pot in her system. most addicts have a way of controling and manipulating the system as well as their loved ones. this is tru of most illnesses. they get really good at hiding stuff. they look disgusted when you mention taking a pill or smoking a pipe in front of them but the next minute they are running out to get their fix. (ever seen intervention?)  but since i dont know your SIL and i can not judge -only give my opinion- maybe she has turned a new leaf and this was her low point. maybe shes more scared of the consequences of her continued drug use... either way i am still praying

 

~No pressure, no diamonds.~

berryfairy
Re: Advice for a sister in law

More bad news, she was lying about what came up in her drug test. We saw my mother in law this weekend and she said the paperwork from the hospital clearly shows cocaine in her system. She flat out lied to us. I expected it but it has my husband so upset. I talked to him about intervention and what we could do for her, he thinks it is a lost cause and all she will do is get pissed and leave. If anyone has ever done one of these and could point me in the right direction that would be great.

Hot2na
Re: Advice for a sister in law

may i ask the state & county? this way i/we are able to pinpoint the various intervention agencies that will gladly step in and assist. btw, if it is arizona, the baby will be removed from the birth mom at birth.

><))))'>  

Pages

Add new comment