3. A Conscious Is Not An Easy Thing To Clear

At this point in my life, I was not aware of GuG. It was last year that I happened upon this website. I'm trying so hard to remember how I got here. I do know that I was doing a lot of searching on the internet, even though I had open information on this woman's Myspace page. She was taking yearly trips back west to see her family and an 'old' 'good' male friend.

My mind goes back to last Father's Day. We were sitting out back under our large pine tree, enjoying a beer. We had the grill going and the smoker had been churning out that wonderful hickory smoke flavored smell for two hours. I was smoking 6 chickens and a few packages of brats that were getting ready to find their way to the grill. On the stove beside the grill, sat my large frying pan. I was peeling potatoes and cutting up onions at the table, they would soon be a large batch of fried potatoes in the frying pan. Hubby was playing fetch with our youngest puppy. It was sunny outside and the wind blew just enough to make my wind chimes under the large umbrella canopy covering our table sing with the movements of air.

As Dharma would say, I'd found my bliss for the day.

And then it was gone.

Both our dogs started barking and running around to the gate on the west side of the house. Someone was trying to get through the gate. But we'd locked the west gate. The puppies soon lost interest, but not for long. Their little legs ran as fast as they could towards us and to the gate on the side of the house we were sitting at, barking madly all along the way.

Hubby and I both looked at each other, knowing what was going to come through the gate. Knock, knock and a head appears over the gate. "Can we come in?"

It was him. The father and his son.

This wasn't the first time the smell of food brought our neighbors over. Usually, they were both locked out of the house by 'her'. She was in a bad mood for any given reason and these two were not allowed back in the house. And they were told there would be no supper for them either. Yes, they've been eating many a meal over here lately.

But wait a minute. She took her two boys to see her mother again. So, he's not locked out.

He walked up to us and said howdy neighbor. Would you mind if we spent the day with you. I'm kind of down today, it's fathers day and I just found out that she's taking the kids to Hawaii and I'm paying for it. She didn't even let the boys say Happy Fathers Day.

I stood up, opened the smoker, and said, of course you can spend the day with us, we've got plenty of food cooking for all of us. And I offered him a beer.

He wasn't allowed to buy beer. Because he never got any of his money from his paycheck. But she was going to Hawaii and had the credit card that he was going to have to pay for. And I knew this because I saw it on her myspace page.

This man worked hard. Very hard. He got up each morning, made his coffee, made his lunch, got lunch ready for the kids and went to work. Wifey stayed in bed sleeping. He would come home from work and he would cook supper. She didn't cook. She doesn't cook. She doesn't clean. She has fun on her computer. When a day was really rough on him, and he was too tired to cook, that's when he would get locked out of the house.

I know you are wondering, what kind of man would put up with this. We wondered the very same thing. And we said so. Well, he loved her.

He took the beer and sat down. I got up and asked the young boy what he would like to drink and went into the house to get him that drink. I took my time getting back from inside the kitchen, because I knew what was going on outside. He was mad and that meant he would have to get it off his chest. He just needed us to listen. We didn't talk anymore, because he wouldn't listen. He didn't want to listen. To us. He wanted to listen to himself feeling sorry for himself. Atleast, that's what I thought. And then I remembered something. I hurried back outside as fast as I could to get in on the conversation. I'd forgotten that he would have to tell it all over again, so I could hear everything and my hubby had begged me in the past to not leave the room, because he would have to hear it two times.

My hubby doesn't have much patience for this kind of behavior. He really isn't someone to coddle someone who won't help himself. And I don't blame him for that. But I also had to remind him, that this is our friend's way of dealing with life right now. He'll come to grips with it someday. And in the meantime, we will continue to listen and just be there for him. Hubby had given him heads up about some things, without directly telling him it was from her myspace.

But today was different. My hubby was telling him he knew about the trip, because of myspace. And he told him not to tell her, because if he told her, then she wouldn't write and talk about it anymore.

Our neighbor was furious. But not at us. I had really expected him to be angry with us. He said, "No wonder, every time I walk up behind her to see what she's doing on the computer, she puts the lid down or clicks like crazy!"

Well, she doesn't like you doing that and she's said so, is what I wanted to say, but didn't. I didn't feel good about this. Not good at all. See, she and I have been taking walks together each morning. She wanted to get into shape before she left on her 'trip'. Her husband thought this was a good idea so that I could find out what she was up to and tell him everything she said. But I never brought anything up about anything with her. Walks with her, well, was time for her to hear herself talk and boast and yell at the youngest boy (they had one together) for not keeping up with us walking.

He was in preschool and he was a wonderful and delightful child. Every morning, he would yell over at me and say "Good Morning Miss Lynn". Always with a smile on his face around daddy. But with mommy, well, this little child knew where his place was. He had learned from our last walk that he had better keep up or he would be yanked again. Yanked right down to the ground on accident by mommy. Yes, I witnessed this and I saw how quickly she made it look like an accident. He had looked at me with those beautiful big brown eyes for just a moment. You could see tears starting to well up inside his eyes, then his eyes went to his skinned knees. I asked him if he was okay and he told me he was. I told him I thought he was very brave and when we got home, mommy was sure to fix it up with some neosporin and a bandaid. I then asked mommy, if she had those things. Of course she did. Subject change back to what she was saying.

From that day forward, I made sure that I walked slower and just said I was having a difficult time with my hip that day and needed to slow down. My little young friend was not going through that again. And he didn't.

 

GrownUpGeek is Cool !!!

 

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Comments

Lynn, i really don't know what to say..i have no profound words of wisdom or poetic solace to send you. this is a very touching, troubling, and confusing place...for you and yours, and for all of them that have choices they don't or won't make, but mostly for the sweet, little, brown eyed boy...and that makes me sad...but mostly angry, and there's not a damn thing i can do about it juliek

I think it might be wise to start it in a word document and save it.  I tried that and I couldn't write.  I have to do it right here in this little box. 

As far as that monster goes, I'll give him his space for right now.  It might take me two weeks to get up that mountain.  I saw it!  It's huge!  And have you ever seen so many trees?  I'm hoping I'll find a stream or two along the way to fill my canteen, I get pretty thirsty out there in the wild.  

No worries, once I get up there, I'll leave you alone and if there is a stream, I'll just send that monster floating on his hiney and you'll see him drifting by some day.

If I was standing on a fish, I'd slip and fall......

Lynn,

Sounds like you have a mountain right next door. It's so hard to know where the boundaries lie in these situations.

What's the neighbor family's status now?

~A. 

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit. -Aristotle

I know what you mean... that's why I almost cried last night when my blog went poof...

And now that you have comments, I feel secure enough to leave my computer and do the things I've needed to do all day... I've been waiting to see if it got fixed before I felt good to leave...

I'll warn you now... my mountain has this weird monster that lives in a cave about halfway up it... I haven't tried to figure out if it's a good monster or bad monster... but he's not paying rent so I put up an eviction notice next to his entrance... I would wait about 2 weeks before moving in so that all of his stuff is gone...  

~~~

Blonde is a state of mind... or lack thereof...

 Mine still does to this day.  He's not allowed in our house, I guess it's not nice to bake cookies, but dad brings him over to visit and we visit him when he has his weekend with his dad.

I just love it though when he sneaks in a Hello Miss Lynn!  I always give him a thumbs up! 

 

If I was standing on a fish, I'd slip and fall......

 You did find me a mountain and I thank you for your help today!  You see, it's working!  

And my fingers are tired from typing.  Blogging takes a long time ;) 

 

If I was standing on a fish, I'd slip and fall......

Lynn... I found you a mountain... and since I'm too lazy to climb, you can have it all to yourself...

And here I never knew I had a mountain... go figure.

 

*EDIT* WHOO! you HAVE COMMENTS!  

~~~

Blonde is a state of mind... or lack thereof...

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