Adventures With Viagra

Experiments with modern medicine.

Let me begin by saying that I've never experienced a moment like you see on TV where the frustrated couple is laying in bed, lights on, a foot apart, face up, covers neatly across their chests, both looking at the ceiling, with the guy saying, "I don't understand - this has never happened before."

I'm not saying that I've never been tired and not felt like it, but I'm saying that when I wanted it to happen, it's always happened.  Even under the influence of alcohol.  I can probably think of some scenarios where I might possibly have a problem - like if I were under a type of unusual pressure.  Say a chick had a loaded gun pointed at my temple or something like that.  Then there might possibly be a problem.

But everything's always worked, and I consider myself fortunate that I have no health or mental issues which would cause things to not work.

One day a few months ago, one of the older guys from 2nd shift gave me a pill. He handed it to me real slyly much like someone in a parking lot would hand you some weed.  It was sealed in a small square blister pack.  He whispered, "Here - take this an hour before ..." I turned it over to read the back and I saw that it was Levitra.  I said, "Oh!" Oh my.  I've watched enough commercials to know that it was one of "those" drugs.

I quickly put it in my pocket and looked around to make sure no one was watching.  I don't know the reason for the unnecessary paranoia - must have been a take-back to the 70's and 80's when I did have reason to be paranoid about something handed to me in that manner.

I had always been curious about the effects of this mystery drug - what does it do exactly?  What would it let me do that I wasn't already able to do?  I remember the side effects as read by that fast-talking announcer at the end of the commercials and the one that really stuck is if the effect lasts longer than 4 hours, you need to go to the hospital or there will be permanent injury.

Permanent injury.

That's a scary thought.  Recently, I had what I thought at the time was a permanent injury and the embarrassment factor alone was bad enough.  I also learned that if you are injured there, don't count on your wife to accompany you to the doctor's office to back up your story.  She will absolutely refuse and the cute PA that's looking things over will probably assume you did it to yourself.  Believe me…  they will ask how you did it.  Turned out to be nothing, but that’s another story.

Back to the pill.

I was excited and couldn't wait to find out what all the hubbub was about.  For this experiment to be even quasi-scientific, I couldn’t let her know about it.  Secret.

*Mission Impossible music plays*

She usually goes to bed around 10pm so I planned on taking the pill at 9:15.  This was to give the full 45 minutes to allow for the effect to take place and still have enough of a "window of engagement" in which to properly see this experiment through to the conclusion.

I took it, sat down next to her on the love seat while she watched a rerun of House.  20 minutes passed and nothing.  I didn’t know what to expect or what to look for but after my shower earlier, I decided to not wear underwear under my jean shorts.  Like I said - I had no idea what was going to happen.

Watching the clock….  25 minutes.  I felt like I was waiting for a Quaalude to kick in.  Maybe it needed a spark.  With my best X-ray glasses on, I slowly turned my head toward her and looked her up and down while she was sitting there staring at the TV.  I might have felt a little tingle, but as my lustful leering shifted to her face I saw she was now looking at me.  Damn, I was caught.  She was doing her cute trademark "you are absolutely fu*king insane" scrunched-face look and said, "What the hell's wrong with you?"  I said, "Oh nothing."

She turned back to House and I re-evaluated my own situation.  Hmmm.  Nope.  Nothing.

At the 30 minute mark, I felt something.  My heart seemed to be beating faster and harder - not uncomfortable but still not normal.  My workout was hours earlier and I had already tapered down.  I might have imagined a caffeine-type jitter in my chest.

This is it - look out!

Then an amazing thing happened which I immediately knew was caused by the Levitra:  My sinuses behind my nose suddenly became completely closed.  Tight.  Submarine door tight.  Damn!  The pressure hurt.  I couldn't even blow my nose because everything was so closed.  So my sinuses had swelled.  And still nothing else interesting.

Bedtime.

So we were in bed, and I was a bit disappointed to notice nothing out of the ordinary that I could attributed to the pill.  I was really hoping that my clogged sinuses wouldn't release at a bad time.  But there were no improvements.  No superpowers were given to me that I didn't already possess.  I was a little let down but at the same time sort of happy because that told me that I was already all that I could be.

Multiple?  I guess I could have gone again if I had wanted to and if it was necessary; but I know I always could anyway.  It just has never been necessary.  You know, I always thought it was a silly question when someone asks, "How many times do you do it in one night?" or "How many times CAN you do it in one night?"  I would like to answer with, "How many times does your girl NEED you to REDO it?"  Like it's the male that has the golf score counter in his palm and the number of times is measured by HIS odometer.  If I were asked, my answer would be "One".  Ask her about her number?  She wouldn't be able to tell you.

Conclusion of the experiment.

The results of this test were inconclusive.  If you only take my single experience into account, it would be that if you do not have a problem which could be corrected with this type of drug, you will gain no improvement.  You could however, possibly get some of the more common side effects like increased heart rate, sinus pressure and headache, but if you could do it fine before, you are still going to do it with this drug with no added effects unless there is a partial need.

In other words - if you don’t need it, don’t bother.  The side effects might not be worth seeing for yourself.  I won’t be taking it again, that’s for sure.  That is, unless things change.

By the way...

Afterward, I was extremely relieved that I wasn't going to have to go to the hospital for an emergency..  uh..  deflation.  Damn good thing.  Because if I had needed to go, I know SHE wouldn't have gone with me and I would have had to again be embarrassed in front of a medical professional about a sexual injury and explain it all by myself.
 

   

   

Comments

For me, it was normal everything as far as the encounter went - even afterward.

 

I'm scared shetless of taking anything that messes with my Jimmy. I've only had 3 uhm ... *cough* "incidents" and they were a long time ago. (2 attributed to alcohol and 1 was just a uhh, bad situation ;)), but I've always wondered what you're supposed to do with it after playtime is over? Ya just walk into the kitchen to take a slug out of the orange juice carton with a huge tent in your flannel boxers?

I'm not used to having it at full mast for long spans of time as I go about my daily routine. It might throw off my equilibrium. And does the pill have any effect on the 'final product'? Like, will she still take a shot across the bow? Or are things too constricted?

p.s. What happens if you grind it up and snort it, does your nose get hard? ;)

--

I'm smiling. That alone should scare you. :)

Consider my risk a gift to the male species and spread the word:  "If you don't need it, it won't do any good."

Also.. Priapism isn't a type of religion.

Very informative. I’ll let hubby to be know.

 

 

can always count on you for a good read, stevie...you are indeed a brave man.  well at least this is one failed expirement you can be happy about..lol

 

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect."

You're a brave man. I wouldn't dare risk it with that stuff. Why risk ruining a good thing. Kinda sucks that it didn't change anything though. Should I feel weird after reading this? 

I don't want to die without any scars. 

Add new comment