Back to the game we call life...

So, you might have noticed my inactivity from the site we know and love as GuG. You might not have. If I had to guess, few noticed or cared. No matter if you did or didn't, I'm back. Why was I gone? Well, it funny how when things fall apart, just how far they go. You know the saying, "When it rains, it pours?" Well... They weren't lying. Let me just touch on a few things that have been going on.

First, class keeps me busy. I hate it. I can't wait to get out. I've been planning an extended trip to London. Its part of a study abroad program during the summer. It would be 5 weeks, living the culture and with the people. I've already been to London for a few days and loved it... Right now my main concern is getting the $5000 I need to go... Anyone want to donate? It is for a good cause! Haha

I've become much more...To myself. Which is one big reason I avoided the site. I'm not sure how to describe whats going on inside my mind. I can tell you that for the past year, I've pushed all my friends out of my life. I've hurt dozens of people and had little to no care. Its terrible to say. I know. And I know I'm doing it... But I'm not sure why. I just feel so empty. But, I've cut off contact with most of the people that were in my life. So, I clearly didn't want to be around all the happy, chatty people on GuG either. No offense to anyone... I just became an anti-social hermit. And its not like thats really changed... I just miss GuG, I suppose.

As part of my anti-social existence, I've been working on a lot on my poetry. While a lot of it isn't in a typed form, I do have a good amount on my writing site. Time for carefree promotion: Here is where I post my poetry. I always love to hear what people think... I just write from the soul and let it speak what it wants and needs to say. So I've spent a lot of time on inner reflections.

And I'm going out on a limb here, so sorry to anyone I offend: I'm tired of stupid people. The people that hold no intellectual prayer. The people that do stupid things over and over again. The people that don't listen. The people that make the news for sheer ignorance. Ever had a conversation with someone and you walk away wondering what the hell the person was thinking? I'm certainly not free from mistakes. But, seriously? It makes me want to go far, far away and live by myself.

Which leads into my final point. I've come to the conclusion that I'm meant to be alone. Not only relationship wise, but overall. Free from close friends and acquaintances. I simply can't keep close contacts with people. I eventually get so annoyed by what they do or how they think, I can't stand it. So a fight begins, and it just goes downhill from there. Again, I don't want it to sound like I'm putting myself higher then the rest of the world... I'm not. My personality simply doesn't work well with other people... Does this really bother me? No, not really. I could care less about a lot of things. Its just been a building of a lot of inner struggle that I've had to face the past few weeks as I continue to lose people close to me. 

 

So there, in a nutshell, is why I went away. I can't promise my total return, but you will be seeing my name more in the threads. The struggle isn't over, I know. But I might as well keep my word out there for all to hear. I am nothing but a name, so look at the words and the thoughts as a shadow of a man that once was. And this, my friends, is the end.

 

   

   

Comments

Good to have you back my DOS game playing friend.

Life can be that way sometimes, there are times when all the crap seems overwhelming and its easy to to say screw everything and walk away, but when I used to do that I realized how much I love my friends and could never turn away from them. I love having my alone time too but I would take a bullet for any of my friends.

And you need to get off this 'I'm met to be alone' stuff. Trust me mate when you meet the girl of your dreams all this complicated existential crap will go right out the window, along with your common sense and half your dignity but it will be for the best.

"Yeah, well I'm alive."

alive??  what the hell is that supposed to mean?  lol.  creepy.

I have read your poetry and you are good (sorry, not a writer, so you can suggest a better adjective. : ) )

And don't I know you as that super nice guy that helps me edit music?

 

Hope you're doing ok. ttys

Yeah, well I'm alive.

 

---The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had---

been wondering about ya :)

I added all the poems at 4 this morning. Enjoy.

 

---The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had---

And who knows... I might just become Trinity's roommate! Haha. Oh what fun that would become.

 

---The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had---

Thanks mommy. I do like that one, as well... I have like...14 or 15 that need to be typed up, so keep an eye out.

 

---The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had---

I'm not going abroad... I'm just going.

I don't exactly plan on coming back lmao... unless it completely sucks.

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I am so jealous of you both. Take the opportunity to study abroad while you can. I will be knowcking on both of your doors if you do get a chance to live in the UK.

Well, I've decided I'm going to apply to 3 or 4 UK schools for next Fall... and if I don't get in, I'll go wherever (Chicago, Boston, Seattle... wherever) and continue to apply until I DO get accepted... then I will go live in the UK... and then you can come visit me :)

That's my plan so far... it's not much, but I can't even plan for 2 days from now, so that's a HUGE step for me :D

As for youuuuuu my dear... we know you can't resist us for long, try as you might. I'm just too damn witty to stay away from...

I'm with you on the stupid people bit... I'm sure I could add to your list... and I don't wonder what they were thinking... I wonder how they've managed to stay alive for so long...

You can't run away from ussss!! We'll find you... we have your IP address...

WarFlar!!

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