And like a boat upon the ocean, I'm rocking you to sleep

The water's dark and deep inside this ancient heart, you'll always be a part of me
About a month ago, Boyfriend and I realized that Gwen's normally finicky eating habits had gotten even more persnickety and usual, and she was losing interest in all food.  We tried feeding her anything and everything for a couple of days to no avail.  By then, we were noticing weight loss, so off to Dr. Tony we went.  I was expecting another UTI, maybe some kind of minor stomach/intestinal blockage.  I was completely unprepared for the words "Feline Renal Failure".  Whoa, that's her kidneys, right?  Well, how do we get her better?  The short answer was, we don't.  Depending on how far gone her kidney function was at that time, the best we could hope for was to maintain her quality of life with medications, subcutaneous fluids, and prescription food.  So, we tried.  For 3 weeks, she ate best food the Vet could prescribe and money could buy.  She endured sub-q fluids 3 times a week.  She (not so graciously) tolerated Boyfriend and I holding her hostage in a towel while we pried her mouth open to squirt antibiotics and appetite stimulants down her throat (did you know cat's can spit???  They can, and FAR!!!)  Through all of this, her quality of life still continued to decline.  I watched her hind legs go from functional to barely accessories that just dragged along behind her over the course of 2 1/2 days.  Despite our best efforts, her frail little body wasn't bouncing back, only getting weaker.  It was time to show her the only kindness we had left at that point.

Last Wednesday, Boyfriend and I headed off to the Vet's office with Gwen for the last time.  She sat on my lap for the ride there, and purred the entire trip.  It was a weak, barely audible purr, but it was definitely there, and it was the first time either of us had heard her purr at all in a few weeks.  Maybe I'm just being whimsical and silly, but I'd like to think she knew what was coming, and she was thanking us.

The technician who helped us was as compassionate and wonderful as one could have been, given the circumstances.  He explained it to us every step of the way what would happen, and even gave her the shots right in our laps.  She fell asleep, and just drifted deeper and deeper, not even a wheeze or a shudder, just....peace and relief from her pain.

 

 

   

   

Comments

knowing you did the right thing still wont make you miss her less...just like she probably misses you too but is still in a much better place. the only pain you cant heal is the one in your heart.

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts.  She was a damned good friend to me though a few really rough patches in my life, and I miss her terribly.  I thought doing the right thing was supposed to make you feel good, not sad...

 

"For we are always what our situations hand us, it’s either sadness or euphoria"

LadyC, I'm very sorry for your loss. It's heart breaking how much our animals mean to us only to know that they will have to leave us. I hope that you are doing ok.

I don't want to die without any scars. 

It's neither whimsical nor silly.  She was leaving you with love and a peaceful memory.  I'm so sorry for you loss. 

Rest in peace to Gwen. Sorry LadyCerridwen

 

 RIP gwen

"Who is this irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead? Living Dead Girl"

Nothing I can say, that I haven't already said. I know you miss her. I found this..it's so true...

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal...

She loved you as much as you loved her. She's in a better place. Probably in her own little mint garden chomping away.

 

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