1. A Conscious Is Not Easy To Clear

So I sit here and wonder about the blogs. I just read Geek's Hubby's comment that our blogs are public. Decision then, to edit out my first post or just leave it. I'll decide that later.

Blogs on GrownUpGeek. One would think that they should pertain to the subject at hand. Okay, I can see that point. There are many subjects here at GuG. But I also read where the Hubby said it was our blog and it could be about anything we wanted to write about. But remember, it's not private. Guess it doesn't matter to me, because there just isn't much these days anymore that is private.

And privacy is the reason I ended up here at GuG in the first place. I had made a decision to invade someone else's privacy. I should add that it was not an easy decision on my part, it went against everything I believed in. We all call that, minding your own business and I call it, what goes around comes around. But there was something else at stake here, something more important to me than being 'who' I was. I wanted to keep my integrity, but I think I may have lost it. I still have days of feeling guilty for what I did, but am soon to dismiss it when I remember that a lot of good came out of this.

I had watched for years, torment from a woman towards her family. I had seen things, heard things, that really bothered me as a wife and a mother. I was friends with this woman and still am. My hubby and I are still very good friends with her now ex-husband.

Those that have been here at GuG for awhile might know what happened from posts I have written. And many, I deleted or never posted at all. I was learning about privacy. The most important thing I learned was that I did not want to be discovered for the things I was about to do.

As I watched and listened to this woman over the years, she conveyed many boasts of a place on the internet called 'Myspace'. She told me her and her family all had a myspace and so did her oldest child. She was happy that she had befriended her son's friends so she could keep an eye on what they were doing. In her words, "This is so much fun and it's sneaky cause I can see what they are doing and their parents have no idea and I meet a lot of guys." All I could say was, "Well, good for you, I'm glad you enjoy it so much and it's nice that you are taking care of your son's friends." What was I supposed to say, Hey you, your married?

To go back in time just a bit.....One night, I was out back getting firewood and it was very cold outside. Next thing I hear is a young boy screaming and hitting on a door with his fists, begging to be let in. I look up and see this young boy with no coat, yelling at the top of his lungs, still beating on the door. I look a little closer and peering out through the glass of the door is the oldest son, with a big smile on his face. Mommy's first born son was having fun with daddy's only son from a previous marriage. I knew that 'Mommy' was home and I knew that 'Daddy' was at work, which is when most of these antics took place. Immediately, I became enraged and started yelling both boys names and before I knew it I was half way to the front door of this house. And what happened to minding my own business?

I was met at the door and was promptly told that the boys were just having fun. Case closed.

You betcha. Years of having fun and tormenting this child who was not wanted by either 'Mommy' or 'Mommy's eldest, he was a stepson with blonde hair and did not fit in with their Latino family.

I choose, now, not to go on any more about many of these little things that went on. I did, however find myself becoming enraged with anger towards this woman and because there wasn't any physical abuse towards this child, I was told there was no sense in reporting her. I remained friends only for the reason that I felt I had to.

During the next year, I realized that it could be possible to find 'Mommy' on the internet. So I started with typing in her name. We corresponded via email occasionally (mostly jokes and pictures of men she thought were hot), so I also had an email addy. I searched on those terms. I started to find little tidbits here and there. One led me to LiveJournal. Wow, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She was actually writing about her stepson and her husband and her lovers and her plans to make the stepson look bad. I was actually surprised that she would write this where I could find it or anyone else for that matter.

I kept reading and reading and found where she had decided what her 'name' would be on myspace. And there was a link for good old sis to get to it easily. Well, you know what I did, I clicked on it and went there, after I copied and pasted all the information I had found. And there it began.

 

to be continued later because my phone is ringing and please note this blog is the property of GrownUpGeek. Cool

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being continued probably just one day at a time, because this happened over several years....

 

Anyone, including me, could say that I was becoming obsessed with searching on the internet for anything I could find. Had I found nothing, well, I would probably have given up and not spent so many hours going through endless pages. But the info I found at LJ was so wonderful to me, because now I had physical proof. At this time, I decided to tell my hubby what I had found and what I had done. I was worried and concerned what he would think, because, frankly, I was wondering myself.

I decided to show him and if he told me I had turned into a raging maniac or stalker, I would accept it and forget it and get back to my own life.

I told him what I had done by typing her name and email addy into a Google search box on the internet. Then explained to him that the next thing that happens is if Google finds anything with those search terms it would bring those items up that it found on the internet. I showed him on my computer, some of the pages I had found.

He read and I waited to see what he would say. I knew it was coming. Mind your own business woman. (He calls me woman)

But no, that’s not what he said. He said, “I knew it. There is something wrong with her, she is so mean to those kids and her husband. You should print it out and make sure you save it, because it may be needed some day.”

“You don’t think it’s weird or crazy that I actually looked this stuff up?” I said. “Do you realize that anyone can look up anyone on the internet and find things that they posted and don’t you think it’s very stupid of her to actually write this stuff about what she did and especially what she told the school and her husband?” “And if he ever sees some of the things she’s written to her sister, he will be heartbroken. I don’t want to show this to him, I can’t. I don’t know what to do with it or if I should just stop right now.”

His reply was that I should just keep an eye on it and keep saving it and if his friend ever needed it, then we would have it. So that’s what I did.

As time goes on, her myspace gets more interesting, with a lot of heads up on things that are about to happen. My hubby decides to ‘sort of’ let his friend know about some of these things in a very round-a-bout way because his friend is now thinking something is going on. So my hubby just agrees and says that he wonders too and tells him that maybe he might want to check in on her now and then. I have no idea this conversation has taken place.

One day while I was working at home, I start hearing banging on my front door, very loud and frantic banging, not just knock-knock anybody home knocking. I open the door to see who it is and the door rushes towards me with a powerful force and these rifles are coming at me in the hands of a red-faced man who yells, “Here, take these, I don’t trust myself with them.”

This happened so fast, that I didn’t realize it was her husband at first. I am confused and actually, quite scared at this point. He tells me he just caught her with a man and then I see a man running down the street with his clothes in hand.

Well, this beats all. Wow. I start laughing. Hysterically. And I don't stop. And our friend is standing here and his face is getting even redder. He doesn't know that when I am faced with something like any bad thing or any kind of disaster, that I laugh. I just do, it's terrible and my children have gotten so upset with me over the years because when someone gets hurt, their mom laughs and can't stop for just a bit. One day they were riding in the back of our little Toyota truck in the pasture and I was driving slowly and hit a bump and before I could say, Hold on kids, I see them through the rear view mirror and up they go. Into the air and land back on their little butts and they disappeared. I stopped the truck, eventually, but I had to finish laughing first. When I went back to them, they were not happy with me for the little air-bump ride and all I could do was laugh. They weren't hurt, they were fine. But to this day they remind me that they didn't cry until I laughed.

Back to the man in my doorway. I apologized for laughing to him and actually wanted to excuse myself because at this point I know I'm not controlling my laughter and it's because of picturing the backside of a naked man running down the street. He says he has to get back to work. Suddenly I realize that I had better find out first exactly what happened and find out what he did, so I stop and say "What did you do" "You didn't touch her did you?", trying really, really hard not to snicker.

He explains what happened and its all good, he went crazy on the guy but left his wife alone, which was a good thing I reminded him. I invited him back later when my hubby got home from work so they could talk. I called my husband and told him what happened. This is when I found out about the conversation.

And this is the start of a series of "How does he know what I'm doing" and when her myspace was soon to become a private myspace.

 

to be continued later because a storm is coming and I want to read up on GuG and please note this blog is the property of GrownUpGeek. Cool

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Comments

Thanks Lynn. I will sometime when we are here at the same time.... 

~Leave them wondering~

Oh god Lynn, it's been two daaaaaaaaaaays!

you hooked me as well Smile

i'm waiting for the conclusion too,although you have let us know that the boy is alright & that's most important.
thanks for the quick first aid for our maternal hearts-

There as SO many similarities with "our" stories & that's what drew me in & kept me reading. Hoping that i can learn something from your experience, before jumping off into this mess/ my situation.

You are awesome for letting us read & share, that my dear, makes you special. I'll be checking in for more thoughts/things from you~

Touching, Lynn. Let's just say that I wish you had been there while my siblings and I were growing up. People like you are far and few between. This much I know is true... most would just turn away.

^i^ ^i^ ^i^ ^i^ ^i^
do not meddle
in the affairs of dragons
for you are crunchy
and taste good with ketchup

^i^ ^i^ ^i^ ^i^ ^i^

Hey tlp95 & Lynn,

CANT WAIT TO READ MORE!!! Here I sit in my office, mouth covered with hand, as I tried in vain to not laugh out loud while reading about your neighbor's exploits and your kids' air-bump! And I'll admit to absorbing books just to get to the end.

Laughing

~A.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit. -Aristotle

I really appreciate that anyone (and I mean anyone) wants to read this. I start writing and then I get to a point that I have to stop, because frankly, when I get to a certain part, I breathe a heavy sigh and I don't know what to say next with all the things that happened.

Green you may share and I would listen. And possibly if it helps, just start typing what you want to say in a word document and save it under the option to password the document on your computer. That way, only you can see it. I think it helps to write it down. I wish now that I had done that. I have so many things saved on my computer of what I found and to make myself feel better or rather to express myself, is how I named the title to each thing I found. In other words, I can't say it here what I called things, well, maybe one thing that is okay to say publicly and it's called "Full of herself". The rest aren't very nice.

As far as the little boy, all I will say at this point, is, I have to get to that part. But he is okay now and not living in that house.

I just gotta go read my GuG now! And bring in firewood. And send in tax stuff due today for some clients. And get a chicken in the oven. ;)

I also have to say something about being a friend still with this woman. I'm not done with her. I have helped her out some. She has gotten better some. She still has a lot of work and may never get there. But, as long as I remain friends and show by example, it helps. Like making hot chocolate for her kids. She'll do that now. Just those tiny little things. I really tried to control my anger and do things a better way. There's a lot more interesting things that happened and I wasn't the one who told her husband about myspace. Very ironic twist that happened.

 

If I was standing on a fish, I'd slip and fall......

Wow Lynn, I'm waiting with baided breathe to hear the rest of it!

But darlin--peekin in the neighbors window when they're doin the dirty is 'not minding your business".

Protecting an innocent child--now that's everybody's business!

It really does take a village sometimes.........

I'm with foam LynnH! (well not literally...lol) I have been waiting HOURS......lol.

And I am the type of girl who will read a 500 page book in one day because I can't wait to find out how it ends Wink

 

"Dance with the devil and the devil doesn't change the devil changes you...."

i agree with foam! hahaha! i'm still on the edge of my seat! you tell stories well!

Endearing,an emotional ride, your spirit is forever part of my soul.Thank you julie k

Damn Lynn I have been waiting a couple of hours for the end of this story its more interesting so far than The Bold and the Beautiful .

it is a really good story, too bad it has to be true though...so sad how awful people can be! i say kudos to you for NOT minding your own business!! i don't believe in turning your back when you see something awful happening. this just goes to further show how awesome of a person you are lynn! ;-)

It wasn't easy and there are things I probably won't write about that happened, but it is a good story because it involves people's lives. I have a lot of feelings about things that happened and I think I'll feel better putting it on paper so to speak. What I will never do, is reveal who these people are because it just wouldn't be right.

At the very least, I would like it understood (once I figure it out) that GrownUpGeek was actually a saviour for some people and Geek and Hubby will probably never know all the people they have actually helped by having this website here and giving me the tools I needed. GuG is important to me for many, many reasons. A big thanks Geek and Hubby.

I'm hoping that by doing this, it might just help me out.

And now, the 'Mommy' I am talking about has just sent me another text message joke. We are still friends, and I plan on staying that way because I don't think I'm done minding my own business.

Lynn

If I was standing on a fish, I'd slip and fall......

Thank you so much for sharing this Lynn... you made me tear up. I understand FULLY where you are coming from . I found GUG due to some very similiar circumstances. I wish that I was able to blog about my story as you did however, I cannot for many reasons. I am very glad that you have shared yours. Perhaps now that child can no longer feel the torment he had to endure at the hands and actions of those who are supposed to care and love him. I will have to share my story with you sometime on a "not so public" basis.

Your fellow geekster,

Green

Leave them wondering~

geez hurry...i need to read moooooore! LOL! Laughing

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