Death and the beyond...

Fish trying to float, man trying to sink.

Sometimes I wonder if life is worth living. I mean, really...whats the point? You wake up, you go to work, you are a robot, working not for yourself but to pay others for your housing, clothing, food, transportation, medical needs, vacations, etc. I realize why I keep on surviving, its for my family. That is the point of life, what other reason is their to toll in the treachery of this society? Without my family, there is no other reason to be here. They provide me with my joy, my true laughter, and the undeniable acceptance and unconditional love. I can not imagine living without them.

I do not work for me, there is really nothing in this world that I would find to be a pleasurable job unless its reading books for money. Is that even possible? I thought helping others would find me joy but that does not give me the feeling that I thought it would especially when you find out that people who claim to want help just want you to kowtow to them and be their servants. They don’t want to hear what the real problem is, they just want to be coddled.

Maybe those that do not fear death have the right idea. I mean what is there to be afraid of except the way that you die? No one truly knows what is there after death, it could be just sweet oblivion. Freedom. Free from toiling day after day for some unseen master that beats you not with real whips but with bills, credit card debt, wars, and breaks you down physically and emotionally until you know nothing but to follow his/her rules. Funny, I used to think that money would solve all life’s problems but I don’t think so. The only way to solve life’s problems are through death...nah, the only way to solve life’s problems is to live as if you have none and not care about money.

 

   

   

Comments

I know what you mean. I also feel that way. I envy those whose lives are satisfying to them, and those who have not (yet) been truly disappointed in life. I wish I knew the secret of the former, and wish I was young enough once again to re-live those years when life was still full of rewards.

I also contemplate what I did wrong in my life. How did I go from having a great future professionally, to struggling to fix the mess I've made of my professional life? It sucks to know that if I only knew then what I know now, I might have avoided my mistakes. It also sucks to know that what I chose is not that satisfying anyway. After all, regardless of whether I meet my professional goals, my work will be like nearly everyone else's: alienated labor. :(

But let's not despair. We might at some point in the future find whatever it is we're looking for! :) 

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"Before this blog, we only thought of trolls as those goofy dudes with wild hair. The trolls here give new meaning to obnoxious."

Sleuth, sometimes, I am envious of those who have seem to found what satisfies them and I contemplate what did I do wrong.  But then I realize that I do not know their stories and how they got to where they are and I know thats where I want to be no matter what it takes to get there.

Thanks for the hugs, .  As cliche as "follow your dreams" may sound, I think that is the right idea. I was looking at a job the other day that was a Reading Instructor and I was delighted.  I meet the qualifications for the job and I am going to apply for it.  Its just that after obtaining a Masters  am still discontented with my work.  In addition, the helping professions are probably one of the lowest paying professions out there unless you are a nurse or a doctor.  Not to mention, you have to put up with a lot of crap and smile.  Hell, I wouldn't mind putting up with a lot of crap if I felt that I was appreciated and getting decently paid for it.  And thanks again for the hug.

So deep! I love it.

Wow. Such an existential blog!
 
"I do not work for me, there is really nothing in this world that I would find to be a pleasurable job unless its reading books for money."
 
That's called "alienation" in the sociological, Marxist sense of the word. Unfortunately, the options to alleviate the worst effects of alienation are few: religion (as in "opium of the masses"); find some sort of meaning in life (outside of work...For you, it's taking care of your family); or the never-achieved "other" society as prescribed by Marx et al, where supposedly labor will no longer be alienating.
 
I'm still trying to find meaning in my own life....Have found nothing that satisfies me yet. :(
 
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"Before this blog, we only thought of trolls as those goofy dudes with wild hair. The trolls here give new meaning to obnoxious."

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