Fastforward to Yesterday

I wasn't able to be online yesterday, my day was full. It started at 5 am and at 7 am I went to pick up my daughter and grandbaby. At 7:05 am I went to work, but the lights were out. All of the lights. That meant that I could not go in. I had a free day. Free to be home all day.

I went home with daughter and baby in tow and spent the day trying to clean up inside and outside. Pretty uneventful, except I was tired by the time hubby got home. Daughter's hubby would be here at 5 pm to pick them up. I was really looking forward to unwinding, putting my feet up and relaxing with a beer.

Supper for the next 3 days was almost complete. I smoked a ton of food, which I had started earlier in the day, but it didn't come easy.

I had pre-seasoned all the meats, the smoker was cleaned out, the wood chips had finished soaking in

water. Time to light the smoker. I turned the propane tank on, turned on the smoker to high, lighter was already in place to light the gas when it came through the hose from the tank to the smoker. Whoosh! Burner is lit and all is good. After getting water from the house, I opened the smoker to fill the pan up. I smelled gas. No heat. Getting on my knees to see if the burner was lit, I found nothing. Darn. Out of propane. Quickly, I turned off the smoker and the propane tank, left the smoker door open and tried again. Nothing.

All of this food was ready and I was out of propane. Let me tell you that I am scared to death of propane tanks. I refuse to be near one when they are being filled or changed out. My son was in class and hubby was at work and it would be late afternoon before a man arrived to help me out.

After stewing over what I would do, I decided to call hubby and tell him. I would tell him and maybe he would say he could stop by and put a new tank on for me. But no. He had concrete crews lined up, concrete trucks lined up, no way could he leave, he needed to stay and keep things running smoothly. But he didn't tell me that, instead, he asked if our son was home. I said no, he's in class so he told me where a new tank was, that I need a big crescent wrench (and good luck finding one), to make sure I turned the valve shut really tight by turning to the right, to turn the hose to the right as if you were turning it to the shut position because it is actually opposite of the valve to remove the hose, to make sure I don't smell any gas and last but not least, no cigarette. Oh yeah, and to make sure the connections are tight after reconnecting.

He had to go, so I said, okay and thank you, I'll see you later honey. I wasn't going to ask him to come home, because I knew he would offer if he could. He knows how I feel about propane tanks. When I first called him, I told him I was smoking up 4 shelves of pork tenderloin roasts and country style ribs. Sounds wonderful, he had replied.

Sounds wonderful. Those two words kept coming back to me. I had already stood there about 5 minutes, just looking at that hose on that propane tank. Okay, I told myself, I can do this. I went to the garage to get a crescent wrench. Opened the door, turned on the lights. In front of me was an air pressure tank almost taller than me. Beside that was a large metal table with a some kind of saw and an extenstion with rollers. And to the side and behind that was a large wooden table with the table saw. And behind that, ten feet towards the back was a cabinet lined with toolboxes and my crescent wrench.

Now, how to get to that end of the garage. It was blocked off. I tried to move each item, but couldn't. I had asked for these items to be moved last week, because they were in the way. I see that didn't happen. My patience. Where did it go. I was already feeling sick to my stomach because I was going to attempt to change out that tank.

Sounds wonderful. There were those words again. Okay, change of plan. I go find the propane tank, and try to lift it. Too heavy. Go to the back of the garage, find a dolly, go back to the tank, put tank on dolly and start to pull it. The tank starts to roll off. I stopped, recentered the tank and started back to the smoker. Rolling again. How am I going to get that tank over there. Bungee cord. That's what I need.

Off to the garage to get the bungee cords, I know where they are, they're at the back in the corner. Open the garage door, turn on the light and there's that darned air pressure tank with his two buddies, still blocking my way, refusing to budge.

"Not going to let me through are you?, I said to the air pressure tank. It just sat there. Didn't say a word and didn't move.

Sounds wonderful. Yep, there's those words again. I walked out of the garage, shutting off the light, closing the door. Looked over towards the grill and the smoker. But my eye stopped halfway there and noticed the four-wheelers, sitting there, all covered up, safe from the weather. Oh yeah, bungee cords, on the back racks of the four wheelers.

So, off I go, get a bungee cord, cover my four wheeler back up, and head to the propane tank and dolly. Tie it off and away I go. Safe and sound. All I need now is a crescent wrench. I know where a small one is, but not a big one. I look at the propane hose and notice that it doesn't need a big wrench, what I have will work. Off I go, to get the wrench, come back and my dog has hiked his leg up onto the tank and marked it. Thank you I say to him.

About ten minutes later, my daughter opens up the back door and says, "Let me know if you need anything mom". I'm sitting here, still looking at the propane tank. I hollered back at her and told her I did need her help. Out she comes, I explain what's happened and I ask her if she's ever changed one. No. She tells me she's afraid of propane tanks. Well, another thing we have in common.

Sounds wonderful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I tell myself. My daughter walks up closer to me and says, well, I'll stand here with you mom and if we get blown up, we'll go together. No, I said to her, your baby needs a mother, I'll do it and we can't afford to blow both of us up. I was serious too, so laugh at me if you like.

I started turning the wrench on the end of the hose to the right, one turn at a time. It was loosening up. After three more turns, I asked my daughter to be sure I had tightened the valve enough. She tried, and said it wouldn't budge. Okay then, keep turning. I kept turning it and kept turning it, sitting on my knees and stretched out as far away from that tank as I could be. I really was scared. I didn't know what would happen. It was almost off and I couldn't do anymore. My daughter said she would finish it and I got up and said okay. I had chickened out.

One more turn, and it was off. Nothing happened. Nothing. We moved the new tank over, started to put the hose on it and then smelled propane. I looked at the old tank and noticed there was something that looked like a rubber stopper that would screw in where the hose was supposed to go. Told my daughter to put the stopper thingy in. She did and the smell was gone. Finished putting the hose on the new tank, lit the smoker and all was good. Water in, wood chips in, meat on the rack, close it up, and wait till later.

Sounds wonderful. Yep, I thought. And it will be hubby. I had learned that I could do it and now I know what to expect. Maybe now I won't be so afraid. Nothing blew up on me. But it had many years ago. We had a smaller smoker back then, I was was home alone with two children. The smoker was sitting on the garage driveway and I had already lit it, put 2 chickens on it, and put the round little lid back on the top. I had come back out to check on it, and it was cold, no heat. The flame had gone out, so I got my lighter to relight the burner. What I didn't know was that I should have turned the valve off, lifted the lid and let the gas out, then relight it. No sooner than I had lit the lighter to the burner underneath, there was the biggest whoosh and my smoker lid went flying up into the air, chickens after it. The smoker lid came back to earth and hit the smoker itself, knocking a huge dent in it. The dent was so bad, that the lid never fit again, completely. Because it scared me so much, I can't even remember what happened to those chickens.

Now, back to yesterday. Hubby comes home and my daughter and I entice him to the back yard with a beer. We have swept up most of the yard, of which it will make him happy as he won't have to do it. We are all three sitting there at the table and he notices the smell coming from the smoker and remembers and comments that we got it. As in, YOU GOT IT!!!!! Yes, with a smile, daughter and I replied at the same time. Before we can finish, the dogs take off, start barking to the west.

I look over and see a head pop over the fence. It's the ex-neighbor. Another head pops over the fence and it's the eldest son. Have you seen our dogs?

No. Just heard that a beagle was missing from behind our house.

Well, we have a beagle in our yard but the two dogs are missing.

The ex neighbor says he was here to pick up the 2 dogs today and take them to his house.

I have to say that this is a good thing, because ever since he moved after their divorce, the dogs have suffered. The only two people that ever took care of them had to leave. I have run over and given them water and offered to feed them for her on her weekend excursions. The smallest and newest dog had died about one month ago, because it froze. This poor puppy was losing an eye and had received a broken leg after just two weeks of being purchased. That just left two dogs now. Well, there were two dogs. I was here all day. I swear I heard both of the large dogs next door, because they always bark when someone walks by our homes. Atleast I thought I'd heard them. The only other thing that had happened was I had heard the eldest boy's voice from my backyard (which means he was very loud) after he should have gotten out of school and then a car sped through our driveway and down the side road. I couldn't see the car because of the fence.

Back to the ex-husband picking up the two dogs. He was going to do this so the dogs could be properly cared for. Isn't it strange that the same day, these two dogs just disappear? Personal opinion coming out on paper now.......she doesn't want him to have anything, so she got rid of the dogs. And I didn't see it happen or hear it happen. Why do I even care? Several reasons.

Reason number one. She didn't take care of them. He loved the dogs and would have taken very good care of them. So, she got rid of them. And the eldest knew about it. And lied about it right in front of me and my husband and my daughter and his step-dad.

Reason number two. It was time to take the food out of the smoker. I have gone in the house to gather the baked pototates and smoked meat for my daughter and her family to take home.

Reason number three. I am tired, it's been a long day and I still have to finish completing the rest of our dinner.

Reason number four. I am selfish today. I am not sharing beer. I am not sharing food. I am not sharing myself. I want to be with my husband now and enjoy our evening together.

Reason number five. If the ex-neighbor comes over into our back yard, he will never leave, he'll want dinner. He's very good at inviting himself.

The rest of the evening continues. Daughter goes home, lots of food in hand. Baby has been up all day. She loves grandma's house and all the stuff to look at and will not sleep. Daughter texts me ten minutes later, and says baby went right to sleep when they got home. She also says the ex neighbor parked in our driveway and blocked the whole driveway. I'm not happy.

I go outside to get my water bottle from the table and I find the ex-husband-neighbor and the neighbors' eldest sitting in my backyard. I go to table, say hello, get my stuff, turn around, go back inside and start preparing the rest of dinner. I look out 30 minutes later and they are all still there. I do not wish to feed extra people, so I text my husband and say, Get rid of them. I'm tired.

Thirty more minutes go by and I'm furious. I don't get mad very often. I slammed kitchen cabinet doors, I slammed the kitchen door. I was being ignored. I needed to get that food off the smoker and I knew as soon as I opened it up, the self-invite would happen. I had a fork in my hand. I threw that fork at my sink, it bounced out, hit the ceiling and landed on the floor as I walked out of the kitchen. I was mad. Why was I so mad? Just because since their divorce, the eldest son, now wanted to eat at our house, since his stepdad and step brother were now gone and no one was there to do the cooking?

I don't know why I got so mad. Is it a full moon or something? When I walked back into my kitchen, I saw the fork I had thrown in my earlier rage. It was laying there on the floor, bent in half. What in the world was wrong with me. I never do this.

I made a decision, to calm down, go outside and get the food. I would just do it and ignore them, get the food and go back in the house. I had to control myself. No sooner than I walked out the door, down the steps, one of them opened their mouth to say something to me. Before they could finish I said no. And I said no loudly. I don't even know what they said. My husband got up right away and and took the plate that was now getting heavy and carried it for me. Bless his heart, he was trying to help me. I took the plate and walked away. As I walked away, I heard a man say, "I guess not". I turned around and looked at them, trying to figure out who said it. They both got 'that look' from me and I turned back and went inside. Now I was mad because they made a comment behind my back that they thought I couldn't hear.

Pretty soon, my hubby comes in the house to see what is wrong with me. All I could tell him was that I was tired. We talked about it some more later, because I just never act like that. I told him part of it was that the 2 dogs next door had disappeared. I told him it had been a long day. I told him I just wanted a quiet evening with him. I told him that I felt a lot of anger about the 2 dogs disappearing just so the ex couldn't take care of them. Nothing more. But I think I'm really upset that 'she' keeps doing mean things and gets away with it. I texted her later and asked her about it and she knew nothing, except that they had just disappeared. She doesn't know it, but she actually made me cry yesterday, because she was so mean to her ex. And I can't say anything to her, because I don't want her wrath on me. I just love children and I love animals and I think that yesterday, it all actually caught up to me and I had to let it out for the very first time.

As I wipe away my stupid tears right now, I have to tell you what the question was that I answered no to. I owe the ex-husband-neighbor an apology, for he has no idea why I acted like I did yesterday. But he offered us 2 free tickets to a Nascar race and I'm a huge Nascar fan. Dopey me, now I don't feel like I even deserve them, unless I actually tell him the truth, all of it.





Aw Lynn, I'm just finally getting around to reading this blog. And the woman continues to amaze me. I don't know how you dealt with the puppy thing keeping your mouth shut. have some mighty fine control. I could never have done it. 

And like others have said, the neighbor knows you're not usually like this, so I'm sure he understands. Not only that, but there's no reason to feel guilty for it either. We all have those days where we are exhausted and just want to relax without being bothered. You put a lot of effort into being able to spend a quiet evening with your hubby and you deserved to have it~~even if it took a tantrum to get there!Laughing

 Why is my preview so longgggg???  Is there something I should be doing or does the preview take a percentage?


If I was standing on a fish, I'd slip and fall......

Thought I'd update about the dogs that went missing. They were suddenly found at 5 am in the morning. Guess who found them. Her best friend's husband who lives across town and just happened to be on our side of town a couple of miles away. He had them in his vehicle. At 5 in the morning.

The only reason I know is because I called to apologize. He thought I was mad at him. But I told him, I was very tired, I didn't want any more company and mostly I was upset that the dogs went missing on the same day he was supposed to pick them up and I told him, that I had to tell him the truth about the little puppy. That he had died. And that she had finally gotten to me.

He told me he knew and he had confronted her about it and she said she'd given the puppy to the animal shelter. He told her that he and the youngest child saw the puppy laying there. And she threw a fit because that meant he had been there at the house with her not there. All of this is why he was taking the two other dogs. He didn't tell me, because he didn't want me to know what had happened. And here, we were both not telling the other what had happened to the pup.

He's supposed to come by and pick them up again. He said he couldn't understand her. I don't either. He will have his youngest child this weekend, (it's his weekend), so that means she'll be gone, which is good for me, because I really don't even want to look at her right now.

My husband and I will go visit him this weekend at his house, to see him, his son and all the doggies. And I'm making up a batch of cookies so the little boy and I can bake up fresh chocolate chip cookies and I won't forget his hot chocolate with marshmallows either. We will sit there and play legos and put together whatever his young mind has decided would be cool to make.

And when he goes to bed, us adults will play poker like we always do. In peace.

juliek~I'm with you on the award. I honestly pray for those kids. And yes, I did vent, probably a bit much, but it was there.

jleo~Thank you and I hesitated a moment and did save some details out of kindness. I'm glad you took that dog in and did what you did. I know there are a lot of people who could care less about a dog or cat or whatever, but the majority of them are still kind natured. There are those few exceptions though and we still have to live with them.

iamthedevil~Yeah, I'm feeling pretty childish and petty about it now. I tried to bend it back, but I just threw it away. I know it hit the sink and the ceiling, then the floor, guess I better see if I have a hole or dent in my ceiling. You can bet I won't be doing that again.

~Thank you. Now I feel I could do it, only if I had to. But I still don't want to light the pilot lights on the stove and heater in our camper, hubby will still have to do that. And yes, he understood, but I didn't mention the tickets and I won't. Next, I have to fix my typos in my blog that I just noticed. I didn't even proof it yesterday. I am feeling much better today since I know they are okay.

Anime~I really liked how you answered everyone in one post, so I have borrowed your idea. Thank you.


If I was standing on a fish, I'd slip and fall......

Lynn, your writing is awesome. This woman is a real winner, and that's probably the nicest thing i'll say about her. if she won't exert herself to take care of her animals, i can't imagine she is up for mother of the year.

We all need to vent, and i'm glad you trusted enough to do it here. I hope you feel better  juliek  looking forward to your next blog

1st let me say i love your blogs. I love the details, as i myself, indulge when telling stories. The whole "sounds wonderful" had me laughing & the food had me hungry;) BTW, what state do you live in? Then, the dogs. I wanted to puke. Not because of what was said, but because of what had happened. I donot understand the neglect & torture people bring upon to animals. it kills me...literally. I remember when we had about 4 hurricanes back to back in florida & we were in the process of boarding up the house. Ocassionally, this black lab named cole, would get loose & come to our house. I spoke with the owners, told them i didnt mind if he came over to play with our dogs....we had a HUGE backyard & a pool, so he always had a grand 'ol time. As the hurricanes were piling up, cole got loose again & the neighbor came to get him(which was odd because she never did before, i always brought him home) & she told me they were leaving for a week & leaving cole at home....inside with a small kennel. For a WEEK!??!! I lost my cool, went off on her, & asked her if i can keep him for good...i started pointing out all of the things she hasnt done for him & the burden he "seems" to cause for her, so she agreed. Just like that! With the snap of a finger! Now why is it, that people act like this? i dont get it. Anyhoo -im super sensitive with animals too & im glad your around to offer some help when you can. Im part of a rescue organization & we value people like you;)

--. And remember, no matter where you go, there you are . --

I'm imagining this bent fork, sorry Lynn, but it makes me laugh... hit the ceiling even? That's a good throw!

As far as the dogs go, yeah, that upsets me as well. Anyone who neglects or abuses an animal like that should be locked in a room with me for about 10 minutes... and since I'm impartial to dogs you can imagine the results... not pretty.

Oh, and I'm glad you didn't blow yourself up! I'm also glad you have vented and now hopefully you are feeling better.

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