Long Rant about my In-Laws 2

There have been many many moments of bliss in my marriage. In fact the past few months have been some of the best of my entire life. I would blog about those moments, if I could see them past all of this anger. I blogged about them before, and although I thought these problems were behind me for at least awhile my in-laws have reared their ugly heads again (seriously they’re not attractive people)!

This was to be my first time filing taxes jointly with my husband. I have done my own taxes with the help of turbotax for the past four year. I love it. It is easy, and because I am in school I get a huge percent of my taxes back. Yesterday I was soooo excited to file and get my tax return. I gathered all of my receipts and asked my hubby to do the same. That is when I was informed that his tax information went to his P.O Box and he had to get it from his dad.

First I have to explain the P.O Box. Hubby’s dad set up a P.O Box for his children to have their mail sent to. This is supposed to be a stable address since they are young and still in an “unstable” place in their lives. We are in an apartment that we don’t plan to stay in long so I didn’t really care at first. But here is the strange part, Daddy opens their mail. ALL OF IT! Daddy makes files of their important information, pays the bills, etc for them. It is crazy. If my husband wants to put something on a credit card, and doesn’t want his dad to see it he has to use mine (haven’t had time to set up a joint account yet). His dad even threw away his motorcycle license because he didn’t want my husband to buy a bike.

So, I told my husband to ask his dad to bring the papers to dinner when they went out on Friday. Daddy told him that he didn’t think we should do the taxes ourselves. I said I don’t care what your effin dad thinks get the papers, but of course it sounded much nicer at the time. His dad actually told him that he had to check with his tax person to see what he should do. Well apparently my husbands balls haven’t dropped all the way, because even though he is 29 years old and they are HIS papers he said “ok check with her and see.” This lady is awful, my husband barely gets by without paying more in taxes when he uses her and he makes nothing and is in school.

Today, I was frustrated with the situation and really really wanted my tax return so I called hubby from work and told him to make sure he talked to his Dad and got the papers. Later that evening I was eavesdropping when he was talking to his Dad and became about as angry as I have ever been (I know this blog is long, but keep reading I get even more angry). His dad was saying mean things about me and my husband did not stick up for me at all. He stuck up for himself, however, when his dad called him whipped! So I poured out all of his vodka and replaced it with water while I waited for him to get off the phone so we could argue. BTW, I’m passive aggressive, I know what your thinking “but B your so nice” and you are of course right. Just don’t mess me!

Five or six minutes later he’s off the phone, I make a sarcastic comment about him sticking up for me and ask him about the taxes. He doesn’t really answer I’m ADD yadayadayada I forget what we are talking about and make dinner. I make a really awesome cajun chicken linguini with homemade spicy cream sauce and he says “I’m not hungry” thats when it all comes back to me. I ask again, and the answer made me so angry I didn’t even want to eat all that pastaee goodness. His dad already sent all the paperwork to his CPA, and his dad said if I had a problem with it I could take it up with him. OH I WILL TAKE IT UP WITH HIM. Because guess what I have that the two of them don’t have....that’s right female reproductive organs, and all the weapons of mass destruction that come along with them such as the ability to hold on to something for a really long time. It’s on. It’s war. And unlike men, women don’t forget. So of course he heard about it for the past two hours. And from time to time I have been going in the other room to yell some more well thought out points and snappy comebacks, that would have been snappier an hour earlier, at him.

But no it’s not over. It will never be over. I am a women and women NEVER forget. He will hear about this till the day he dies. And, oh yeah, “Daddy” you’ll hear about it tomorrow and be reminded of it every time I schedule our vacation to coincide with one of your family get together. There is no way in hell I am moving into that house you are gifting my husband so I hope you like paying taxes on a vacant house. Grandchildren? Well I hope you like the spastic ugly ones your daughter keeps popping out, because there is no way I’m bringing any innocent cute children into your effed up family!

Maybe I will be be less angry, more mature, or less vindictive in the morning and see things like the happy little stepford wife he hoped his son would marry. I seriously doubt it though.

   

   

Comments

Nah... you aren't a biatch.  You're just dealing with it.  I've yet to see a perfect marriage - you just keep standing up for yourself.  Some things can't be made to go away completely.  I like your spirit.  He got a good one when he got you.  :)

 Don't give her ideas, Stevie.  I don't think they'll let her on GuG from prison.

 

 

レ∆∂ㄚ๒ㄩииㄚレ◊√∑Я

yes, you earned the Crown. no, you are not a "btich,"....you are just 'married.'

><))))'>  

I'd like to thank all the GUGS who made this possible...I am now QueenB-iotch!

 Thats totally alcohol abuse...

 

"So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb. "

brilliant! yay for you PrincessB. life is all about balance. you are a sharp new bride and i'm thinking PrincessB has earned her crown!

><))))'>  

Guess who did a change of address request online with the post office today at work. I wonder how long it will take them to figure it out.

About the Vodka, I asked him if he had any when I got home, and he was sooo paranoid he dumped it all out without tasting or smelling it. I laughed so hard and told him I didn't do anything to it, he believed me. Better than watery drinks. Now I can use the water in the vodka bottle later too. I'm really starting to have a great day.

I'm sorry he didn't stick up for you Princess :( But thank goodness you're a strong woman who knows when to put her foot down and where to pour the vodka! Wooooooooo *fans you with the nearest magazine*  I think we were cut from the same cloth. 

His dad really loves that controlling card.  Time to cut the umbilical P.O. Box cord, asap!

I think you're right, it should be the other way around.  I hope all that gets sorted out soon. 

"My best friend is getting married soon to a man who is an only child AND an orphan...*sigh* lucky girl."

im sorry. i had to chuckle at that.

 

~No pressure, no diamonds.~

Thanks you all for the support. Animes, I am going to remember that one to tell my husband later today, because I am no less furious than I was earlier today. I don't think it is as much a financial bind that his dad holds as it is psychological. His mom left when he was very young and was a drug addict who was in and out of his life. His dad used to tell them that they were all each other had, and he gave up so much in his life to take care of them. If you call spending most nights at the bar or with random women while grandpa takes care of the kids sacrifice than maybe. I know my dad worked two jobs and spent every other minute of his time with his family and never once complained about what he had to give up. Sometimes I honestly think my husband feels he has to work for his fathers love, but trusts that I'll be there no matter what. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? Not that I would ever make him "work" for my love, maybe just my attention.

Anyway, the papers are coming today, because I told my husband that part about "forsaking all others" included his family and if I didn't get them ASAP he would pay everyday day until tax season 2010.

Aside from his crazy relationship with his family my husband is actually really stable, and I think that is why I am soooo upset about this family thing. Life would just be so amazing if, well you know they weren't "around".

My best friend is getting married soon to a man who is an only child AND an orphan...*sigh* lucky girl.

o lordy hon! this is so not cool with me. i am so sorry you are going through this. i hope you can get through it, put up with the better and worse enough to still love the hubby, and more importantly get some money back from your taxes.

~No pressure, no diamonds.~

When does the limit expire for an annulment?

I LOVED your 2nd to the last last paragraph!  You are wickedly delicious when you are angry!  If you talked to me like that, I'd kiss you!  :)

OK.. serious... go re-read what I wrote in your other blog.  This isn't getting any better.  Your husband isn't getting any better.  I would elaborate with more opinions about him, but I do not wish to offend.  This situation you are in is a huge boulder with a lot of inertia.  Unless you put some dynamite in its path, this is the way it's going to be until father-in-law croaks.  But don't do it yourself... I hear women's prisons are a b|tch.

 Awww.. I feel ya, hun.  You can vent with us all you want, and I wish you the best of luck.  If you ever need to vent, feel free to PM me, or I'll PM you my contact info.

 

 

レ∆∂ㄚ๒ㄩииㄚレ◊√∑Я

Hi princessb,
I will be married 36 years this June. When I was first married my husband was a full time college student and I was working full time. At the time, my husband's checking account had his father's name on it. Not knowing better, I had my paycheck deposited into my husband's checking account. One day we were at my in-laws house for dinner. My father-in-law brings out our checking account statement (that he gets a copy of every month) and starts asking us questions about why and how we are spending our money. My husband dutifully answers (because he is used to this) and I sit quietly fuming. The next morning I went to the bank, opened a new joint checking account (in our names only) and brought the paperwork home for my husband to sign. We never said a word to my father-in-law and he never questioned us again. No harsh words - no fights - everyone got the message! Do not fight with your husband - do not yell. If you do not have children, tell him very calmly that he must choose to be married to you or his father. Some people do not know how to be married. You must teach him the ground rules (first rule - go to post office & have your mail delivered to your address). If you do have children and he chooses to stay married to his father, then you should accept him as he is and do the best you can to create a happy family life for the kids. After all, you probably knew some of this about him before you married. Accept him or dump him - no point in yelling at him.

whoa! okay - i'm going to throw it all out there, but have a question first. what is the tie that binds here? money? is new husband afraid of getting cut-off or cut-out?

imho and almost 20-years of pure wedded bliss, new husband needs to grow a set and decide whether he wants to be married to his wife or daddy dearest. and once new husband picks YOU and stands up to daddy dearest, it will be then that the *dick fruit* will grow and daddy dearest gains a new found respect for his offspring. he just needs to man up.

><))))'>  

I don't think I could marry someone whose daddy still wipes their a** for them...

Good luck...

_______________________________________________________

 oh crapola. Im so sorry B. Marriage can be hard enough without these extra components. Feel free to come talk to me! <3

 

"So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb. "

Add new comment