It's the most wonderful time of the year

I was looking through my email only to find an email with the subject title-"Here's your 10% coupon for ___ ____'s gift this Christmas".  Those blanks represent my exes name.   See I like to buy people theme presents of their favorite things.  The year before last his theme was music.  So I scoured Ebay for weeks and weeks for anything having to do with one of his favorite bands. I ended up with all these awesome vintage magazines, song books and a few cd's by them that he had never even heard of.  One of them was great because like less than 500 copies were ever  made.  It cost me like $80 but I was so happy to find it that I didn't care.  Last year the theme was beer.  One of his TOP favorite things.  So I bought him a membership to a beer club.  I know, kinda corny.  But he was ecstatic.  Hence the '10% coupon' thing.  They are reminding me that if I want to renew my gift for ___ ___, now is the time to do it and save some money too. 

Gee thanks.

I won't be renewing.  Obviously.  But it did make me think- "wow", for more reasons than one.  Firstly, it made me realize that almost a whole year has passed since last Christmas.  Where the heck did the time go?  How did a whole year go by without me noticing?  I know.  Because I spent the first half of this year with my eyes half-closed by sadness and melancholy.  Months and months of tears.  My friends and family had no idea what to do with me.  It was pathetic really.  My friends would take me out and get me totally drunk until I would fall asleep.  It seemed to be the only way to get me to stop crying those days.  Sleep.  My family would make me yummy dinners and bring me cookies lol.  Wasn't my proudest few months.

Progress has been fun.  I read some of my past blogs and I think- "Oh boy."  Someone once told me that I sounded like such a mess that it made them want to fix all my troubles for me.  Someone who I really didn't know back then.  I see now that they were totally right.  I was a HUGE mess.  I can laugh now thankfully.  I also think wow because life has been so unexpected.  I guess I could get into detail but I see I'm starting to drift off from my original purpose of this blog.  I think I lost the way after I typed in the subject title actually lol.  My mind tends to wander off.  I suppose all the unexpected aspects of my life have just made me think about all the things that once had me so down.  I'm so beyond that girl from months ago and it makes me happy.

Which leads me here.

I love Christmas time.  I love buying gifts, giving them to people.  Watching how excited the kiddies get when they see a department store Santa.  It's great.  This may really and truly be my last Christmas in NY for a little while.  That was my other wow moment.  The biggest really.  Yesterday I started to make a very tiny bit of progress on my moving plans.  If nothing goes awfully wrong anytime soon, I might actually pull this off faster than I thought.  I was practically jumping up and down.  Wow, I'm super excited.  I guess this year people's gifts will have to be based around smaller themes, haha.  I never really ask for anything for Christmas.  But, Santa, if you're out there (which we all know he IS lol), all I want for Christmas is the motivation to get myself together and get myself where I want to be.  I mean, I already have it.  Just don't want to lose it.  I need to take this tiny roll I'm on and run with it.  Anyhow, this has been my update of sorts.  I know I'm probably boring whoever actually reads my randomness to death with this whole move talk.  But I can't help it.  I'm soooo beyond excited at the thought of somewhere else.  And yes I took you down memory lane to get to my point.  Sorry.  What can I say?  I'm always wandering in wonderland.  But hopefully not for long... :)



That wasn't boring at all  :)

Inspirational is right.  I think it's a great moment when yourself or anyone really can leave all that behind and progress. 

Thank you so much for sharing, personally it's exactly what I needed to read at the moment.   :)

aww thanks ladies.  i kinda just write what's going thru my head.  but i'm glad some of it makes sense since i usually don't even make sense to myself lol.  :)

"With my big black boots and an old suitcase, I do believe I'll find myself a new place..."


:)  Your randomness is actually very, like missb said, inspiring. 




MIW, what can I say, you did it again. Your blogs are so inspiring. We've all been in a place that you just described, but the important thing is that we don't stay there. You've come such a long way and I'm SO happy for you. I'm totally thrilled you've made some real progress on your moving, this makes me happy knowing that I can go there some day and have a friend to stay with...YAYYYYYYYYY!! YOU GO GIRL!!!


What goes around comes around..don't forget it!

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