Silence can hurt

I am an Aunt who is grieving the loss of my nephew. I am not a parent who lost a child and could never imagine such a loss. At 16 my nephew chose not to be here anymore and took his own precious life away just over a month ago. Since, this has happened I have learned a lot about who my nephew and those around him were. Secret hiding places in different aspects of his life held more clues. I don’t fault his mom or his dad. They loved him and were parents to him the best they knew how. He was not an angel and had many problems both within his circle of friends and family from immediate to those of us a bit more distant. I came here to GuG to try to find some answers of my own.  A “safety net” for my children. I just wanted to encourage other parents who are here to look. To ask. To watch. And when you’re not sure, invade privacy. It could be the difference between writing down an action plan with your child and writing their eulogy.

   

   

Comments

I cant believe its been a whole year already. My heart goes out to you. <3

I'm so sorry to hear that.  What you wrote was very beautiful <3

 

i <3 you green.  always here for ya when you need to talk...or listen to some good 80's tunes...  *hugs* 

 

"Listening to you I get the music.  Gazing at you I get the heat... From you I get the story..."

 

 

It is so hard to believe that it has been a year ago today that you left us. We have been through so many emotions these last 12 months and have so many questions unanswered. I just can't=- let today go by without saying I love you and I miss you. You are still a aprt of me everyday all though I cannot see you anymore I still feel you. For now you live in my heart until we meet again my beautiful J.. love always

 

~ Proud supporter of Father's rights ~

green, i'm so sorry for your sadness...juliek

IM very sorry for your loss. I know it is hard to lose a loved one. i agree that privacy should be invaded if the circumstances are right. I know as a teenager I was very ebellious and also distanced myself from my family due to drug use. I wish now that my mom and dad would have invaded my space. If they would have I would definetly be a different person. The hing is my family has never experimented with drugs or alcohol so they didnt know what to look for. As a parent myself when my son is older and is messing around I will know whats going on. I now know that i will do anything to keep him safe even if it means him gtting mad at me and invading his space. Once again sorry for your loss hon.

 

"If everybody is thinking alike then nobody is thinking"

I have to admit, I tear up a little bit every time I open this thread.  I can't even begin to imagine what you and his parents are going through right now.  I hope accessing his MySpace provides some answers, and maybe the information gained can help one of his friends.  My deepest sympathies.

 

"How do you know I'm mad?" asked Alice.
"You must be", said the cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here"

I am sorry for your loss too Green. Prayers are still going your way for you and the family.

1st let me say, i am so sorry for your loss.  That's so sad he decided to end his young life.  As a "new aunt", i cant imagine the pain you feel.   A 'safety net' is a great tool to pursue.  If, and when, i become a mom, i will definitely do the same.  I am a bit nosey :p    my thoughts are with you green!   * hugs *

 

Green,

This is a true tragedy and should not have happened. I'm sure you are still numb with pain. I couldn't agree more regarding the parental need to become more involved and invade privacy when necessary. I came to GUG to learn about MySpace so I can invade the privacy of my adult kids, several nieces and nephews, and several teens in my neighborhood that I am close to and whose parents are not. Some of them are misguided, and it is unfortunate. I do know that my encouraging several moms to become more involved in their teens lives, music they listen to, friends, etc. has made a profound difference in a few lives and repaired if not salvaged some relationships. It just takes some involvement and indirect parenting at times.

In reading your blog this afternoon, I wanted to respond right away. I'm deeply sorry for your loss. It has taken me a few hours to say....I feel a sense of helplessness, but my thoughts and prayers are with your entire family.

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