So your best friend is a racist...

The election results are in.  Barack Obama is President of the United States, and I couldn't be happier.  I check my phone and notice a text message from my best friend that says:


"McCain is the true winner.  Too bad we don't have more KKK member in Cali to teach you people a lesson and fight election fraud like this..."


I try not to be upset, but as an African American girl, how can I help it?  The funny thing is, this is not the first time.  A few years ago she started dating a white supremacist (I'm not joking).  When he found out that he was dating a Caucasian girl with a Black best friend, he threatened to break up with her, so she completely blew me off for a few months.  When they broke up, she apologized to me and things were okay for awhile...

As kind of an aside, we first met at my old job at Magic Mountain in 1997, so we go back kinda far.  We've had a lot of ups and downs, and she's been there during a lot of difficult times for me.  At the same time, she continues to be friends with another coworker who I've distanced myself from because he constantly makes obscene jokes about Blacks and Mexicans. 

Strange but true...

Another situation with her, before this election night fiasco, we were watching tv with my sis.  A special came on the Discovery channel about the Klan.  She stands up, and yells, "those are my people!!!"


I'm guilty.  I don't speak up when things bother me, but it should really be common sense that behavior like this should not be expressed to others (really, it should not be expressed at all!), especially to those of that particular racial group.  I'm not sure if she thinks this is a big, long running joke, or if this is her nature.  What kind of a person would act like this???

Now people would ask me why I continue to hang out with her.  I'm particularly shy and quiet in person, and making friends does not come easily to me.  In fact, as I've gotten older, it's become pretty much impossible.  If I lose her as a friend, then I will lose the only friend that I have.  But keeping her and her racist views is becoming particularly irritating and hurtful to me...

 

   

   

Comments

I hate that my "past" best friend is a racist. We would hike for 2 hours 4 days a week. After 2 years of attempting to change her opinion, I finally dumped her at Bidwell Park, Chico, CA. She still doesn't get it and stalks me...

What does a 50 year old woman from Detroit, Michigan not get? she has lived in California since she was 18. Time enough. I hate her racist comments and am done

 Here's my take on this and I am white. I voted McCain, but I respect Obama and he will be OUR president regardless. However, I am a little biased here, because my first grandchild is bi-racial. My son's girlfriend is black and I have never had a problem with that. We are on this planet together, like it or not, so you need to kick her to the curb, she is not your friend but a USER!!

You are only as old as you feel....that makes me 30, not 52!!lol

I hate to say it but you are her "token" I have been the "token" bi-racial friend a few times.. oh she is cool she is only HALF black. The older I got the more I learned anyone that had any respect and true love for me would never date a white supremacist (been there with that scenerio myself).

I have a friend who is like my sister and she comes from a very small town in Indiana(birth place of the KKK). My friend never even went to school with a black person. We met through the Army because our spouses worked together. She would NEVER make jokes like that or allow anyone to disrespect me like that. A few have tried and I have seen her turn out thier lights.

Cut your loses and from what it sounds like you won't be losing much but be gaining a better sense of self and self respect. Good luck I know it isn't easy feeling like you have been blinded by a persons true nature.

The term "different elasticities" cheered me up immensely...!

Stupid spell check suggestions. Ethnicity. Sorry but at least it cheered you up.

I don't want to die without any scars. 

People stay in abusive relationships for many reasons.

You are not ready to see it for what it is, but when you are, you will have the courage to leave and find friends worthy of the beautiful human you are.

woh!  my first thought after reading that text was lynch her!  obviously im joking.  but yah i agree with some of the below comments.  her humor may be off beat and you should reel her in a bit.  let her know your parameters.  we all have different thresholds to moral flexabilities.  if she is a friend she'll cool it.  if not then kick her to the curb.

Its one thing to make a few light hearted jokes about your friends, but to say that people that advocate outright violence and hatred like that as 'their people' is way over the line and would probably offend me as well. I'd tell them to stick it where the sun don't shine

 You have to drop this girl as your friend as soon as possible. It's way more than her just making a few racist jokes and laughing about it. These comments are offending you, and she is just disrespecting you as a person and a friend. She probably thinks she's superior to you as well. You don't need people in your life like this.

 

 

The Truth Is Out There. Trust No One! Deny Everything!

You're upsetting me....on several levels.

 

The term "different elasticities" cheered me up immensely...!

She actually grew up pretty well off.  I know that her mother wouldn't let her be friends with kids who didn't drive new cars in high school.  Her uncle is a famous television stunt producer, but she does tend to work dead-end, menial jobs and doesn't have more than a high school education. 

 


"She walks in a shadow of discontent...tear the roof off this mutha like Parliament" - Capt'n

I truly wish people understood what is really going on! In 6-7 months people will start to understand !

Have a serious talk with her and tell her how you feel, if she continues this in front of you, its time to get rid of her. Friends are suppose to make you feel good, not bad.

 

What goes around comes around..don't forget it!
 

hey cap'y.....sounds like bff is also a hypocrite. no offense to you love. but how does she claim the "bff" status given that you are an african american woman, and then pull this stunt? i would kick her to the curb if i were in your shoes. cut all ties. if she really wants that bff status back, she will have some begging/proving to do.

 

<º))))><.·´¯`·.¸

Man - that's a shame.  I'm thinking she needs to know that this is hurtful to you.  Wait until the present excitement is over and have a heart-to-heart with her.

Ah, white power! Why is it white power is popular with poor ignorant uneducated whites? Oh well. Odd that she's a racist and has non-white friends. But really not that odd I guess. I knew a skin head and his girlfriend. She found a bunch of porn of his and it was all women of different elasticities. No white woman at all. It's hard to reason with a crazy person because what makes sense in their head doesn't make sense in a sane person's head.

One day when she jumps up and salutes Hitler again just ask her if she's for real. If she gets real with you and says it's just a joke and she thinks it's funny tell her it hurts your feelings. Maybe she doesn't know that you don't enjoy the joke.

I don't want to die without any scars. 

That is sad. I am sorry she would put you in that situation. You have to be true to yourself though. If she is saying this around you she would have to realize it would hurt you. Of course it is easy for me to say this; I don’t have to go through it.

My fiancé’s family is about as racist as you can get. I was shocked people like that even existed anymore. He isn't that way at all, hard to believe since it is what he grew up with. I sometimes am embarrassed at what they say about people. We go to a multicultural church and they refuse to come to service with us. It must be hard to live with that kind of disability, and that is what prejudice is, a disability that keeps you from living life to its full potential.

Follow your heart, and take pride in who you are. Obviously the majority of the country doesn’t feel that way.

I wouldn't worry about her right now.....this an extraordinary day for african americans...minorities in general. Be happy girl =)

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