Someone told me long ago, "There's a calm before the storm." I know, it's been coming for some time

"When it's over", so they say, "It'll rain a sunny day."  I know, shining down, like water....


Our vacation to NY was the calm before the storm.  We relaxed.  We went out with friends.  We had fun.  Looking back, I realize it was the charge my battery needed to be able to weather what followed.   My friend taught me how to knit while we were there.  The "click click click" of the needles has been my refuge over the last couple of weeks.  Three scarves and half a sweater later, I'm starting to get the hang of it. 

Then the storm hit.  Two weeks of whirlwinds, running around, madness.  Hospice.  DNR.  Death.  Funeral.  Heat wave. Visits with family.  Dinner out because we're too tired/hot too cook.  An attempt to visit the bar we all used to hang out at (it's not a bar anymore, it's a pizza place and deli now *shakes head*) All the rituals us silly humans follow after a death. 

And now that storm has passed.  The temperature has slid back down to a tolerable level.  Today is the first day of "the new normal".  It's funny, through the funeral, people kept saying "Don't worry, things'll get back to normal soon."  Horseshit.  Things will NEVER go "back to normal".  However, a new "normal" will emerge.  That "normal" will involve Jeep shopping, house hunting, preparing to move.  It won't involve quick phone calls or emails to B to tell her who I ran into this afternoon, and "OMG! she's gotten FAT!!!", and it'll lack Boyfriend calling B to see if she wants to get sushi later this week.  In this new "normal", I'll knit scarves and sweaters, but it won't include Christmas shopping for the perfect fairy figurine, one she doesn't already have.  There'll be an occasional tear shed over odd things, like T-Mobile commercials or Fuddrucker's cheeseburgers, as I remember the friend who truly adored her job, the friend who was the fussiest eater I've ever met in my life.  It'll be different, but it'll become "normal".  While there will be sadness at times, the new "normal" won't suck, there'll be joy as well.  It'll just be...normal.



Perhaps in the 'norm' you can include a smile every time you think of something funny she said. It can also include you talking to her. Just cause she's gone doesn't mean she's not with you in your heart. You can cherish the memory of her smile and all the things you used to share. Sadness soon evolves into joy.



The Truth Is Out There. Trust No One! Deny Everything!

You're upsetting me....on several levels.

-I am The Phoenix that rises again.
-I am The Oasis in this dry world.

Is there really such thing as 'normal' anyways? Our normal is constantly evolving and what was normal a month ago, a year ago, 10 years ago suddenly seems so odd. There will come the day when you only smile at that memories, no tears left to shed...but in the interim, life will be anything but normal. 

Instead of waiting for the normal to come to you, keep doing what you are doing- finding the new things in life that you want, and making them happen. Create a new normal, normal for YOU. Thats the best gift your SIL can get; you and yours happy in a new normal.  

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