What about your friends?

     After work last night, I stopped by my friend *Donna's job to spend some time with her. She works as a Bartender/Waitress in Applebee's. Therefore, I went to the bar part and sat there and kept her company in between her taking orders. We were just shooting the breeze and shortly after my Strawberry Lemonade came, she started talking about her horrid boyfriend *Andrew. I immediately felt a surge of guilt all over that I could not explain...until now.

 

     First, let me tell you how I came to know Donna. My former best friend, *Sandra happens to also be close friends (or best friends if you rather) with Andrew. I never got along with Andrew. He always knew how to put a damper on everyone's mood when we were all partying. One day, Andrew brought Donna with him to Sandra's house. And gee whiz, she turned out to be way cooler than Andrew any day! So, I befriended Donna and we soon became close. She was even there for my birthday bash last year. Soon after that, we all became the three musketeers (Donna, Sandra, and Me).

 

     A few months later, Donna and I had a falling out. It was something stupid that revolved around her whacked out lover, Andrew. During those months, it was just Sandra and I once again. Just like the good old times. Until one not-so-stormy night, when Sandra made a few drunken revelations to me: She told me that she had sex with Andrew; and that the first time it was at my birthday party while everyone was still there; and that it happened a few times. I was stunned. I did not know how exactly to take that all in. Nevertheless, I tried to get over it being that Donna and I were not talking. I thought I would not be friends with Donna again, anyway.  So I vowed never to say anything to anyone.

 

     So with the beginning of this year came new beginnings for other things as well. Donna and I patched things up. My friendship with Sandra was starting to wither. I tried my best to keep things up between us, but still I failed. A turning point for me (more like "the straw that broke the camel's back") was when in casual conversation I asked Sandra if she felt badly about what she done with Andrew since she was still friendly with Donna. She replied coldly, "No, not at all. I never live with regrets. So I did it, Andrew is my friend. I was looking out for him."
"Isn't Donna your friend as well?"    "Yeah, I'm cool with her. But Andrew is one of my best friends. And so are you."

 

     I left it alone at that. However, I could not stop what was changing inside of me. I was appalled that Sandra did not even feel any remorse. How can I keep her in good trust if she showed me such treachery? I could not bare this and many other wrong doings (a completely different story) from her. So our ties were inevitably severed. I remain friends with Donna. I have not so much as dropped a hint to the secret I knew. Each time I see and hang out with Donna it pricks at my heartstrings a bit. I can't go back on my word and tell her anything, but I thought maybe it would relieve some tension if I shared with my GuG family. Thanks you guys!!

*Names have been changed.

   

   

Comments

phx.O - - she will find out, in due time. KARMA is unavoidable and andrew & ms. sandra i'm afraid are pushing the envelope. what you can do for yourself is leave it in KARMA's hands and just be prepared to be there for donna when she needs you most, which will be soon from what i see from here. *trust me on that premonition*  

Tuna ><(((( '> the other white meat! I am Keeper Of The Whip!

That's what I think about most 2na. Is that in some way if I do tell her, it will come back to bite me in the a$$. Andrew has done other things in the past, (even though he somewhat has gotten better) that may have cause someone to break up with him. But they were in no way close to him having sex with Sandra. Currently Sandra and I are not really in speaking terms. I was supposed to be the Godmother of her daughter, but that fell through b/c of other unrelated events that led up to the upcoming baptism. It's just that I would still feel like I was betraying someone's trust regarless of the circumstances. I just don't want Donna to continue to look foolish (b/c although Sandra has denied any reoccuring instances with Andrew, I'm sure that when things get rocky, Andrew runs to Sandra to relieve his sexual frustration or at least tries to. And the fact that he tries is bad enough on its own). The thing is that if I don't tell her...she'll never know. So I'm just going back and forth if I should leave her hanging in ignorant bliss.

 

 

The Truth Is Out There. Trust No One! Deny Everything!

You're upsetting me....on several levels.

i can agree w/the consensus thus far, but you do know there is a chance she may backlash at you and blame you for it...meaning, you WANT to ruin her relationship with andrew. or, it could be a double edged sword also - - meaning if you say nothing, and she finds out you knew, there would be hell to pay at that time as well. i didn't provide any comfort here, i know. i'm just thinking personally i would let sleeping dogs lie. *deny. deny. deny. ever knowing anything should it come up*

Tuna ><(((( '> the other white meat! I am Keeper Of The Whip!

Wow.  Well, I think that if I were in your shoes, I'd probably end up telling her.  But there are a few things you have to consider.  There is a strong chance that she will be angry at you for having known this for so long and never saying anything until now.  Are you ready to deal with that if it happens?  She may feel betrayed and lied to not only by "Sandra & Andrew" but by you as well.  I'm not saying this is going to happen.  She may thank you.  I'm just saying these are things you have to be ready to deal with if you decide to tell her what you know.

That being said, if she truly is your friend she deserves to know the truth no matter what.  I wouldn't want to see a close friend of mine being played for a fool when I had the opportunity to change that for them.  Think about it for a bit and I'm sure you'll know what to do...glad we could be a sounding post for you.  We're all here for ya!

"You've got to be crazy, gotta have a real need."

I definitely agree with bella.  I would definitely tell her, mostly because that's what I would expect from one of my friends. Its not one of the easiest situations but I'm sure she'll appreciate your honesty.    

Wow, that is one heck of a story! Honestly, if I were in your shoes, and I were close to Donna again, I would tell her. I'm just putting myself In Donna's shoes, and if one of my close friends knew my boyfriend cheated on me with one of my other close friends I would like to know. That actually happened to me before, one of my friends slept with my boyfriend, then she slept with one guy I was talking to. I found out right away about the one I was talking to and well, we got into it. I didn't talk to her for 2 years, then my other friend confessed to me that she had also slept with my ex when my ex and I were dating. Let me tell you, I felt like a dumba$$, i wish I would have known sooner and dumped his a$$. Which eventually I did for other reasons. I'm friends again with the girl that did me wrong, our friendship was stronger than some dudes from our high school days and well she moved on and got married and had a kid and I did as well, i met my wonderful husband and am happily married and well part of it I have my friend to thank, she did something that opened my eyes and well i found a better man. So in conclusion, and this is just my opinion, I would tell Donna about Sandra and Andrew, she deserves a better man and you being her friend and knowing...well, it kind of makes you part of it now. I know you may not want to get involved, but if Donna is your friend and you care about her, tell her, it happened to me and I wish I would have known a lot sooner. Just something to think about, you don't have to tell her if you don't want to obviously, but definately think about it ;) You may loose Sandra as a friend, but with what she has done behind Donna's back do you really want a friend that would do something like that?? yeah I know you're thinking well you became friends again with the friend that did you wrong, but i believe that people change and learn from their mistakes, we're not perfect. If you ever need someone to talk to myself and I'm sure the rest of the GuGess are here for you. Muahs!

-Pain is weakness leaving the body- USMC OOrah!

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