While I was gone...

Okay just to warn you this is going to be part explanation and part rant.

While I was in Iowa I spent 90% of the time at my mom's. She owns a small motel that her home is connected to. It's a lot of fun to help her with cleaning and yard work. I even got a little bit of a tan. My nose got a little bit burned and is now peeling. I got to see my bestie of 15 years and also her little boy and her boyfriend. I really missed them so it was nice to have dinner and drinks at her house and just catch up. She cried when I left. She moved to Iowa to be closer to me in 2006, so I do feel bad for moving again, but she's happy and has a pretty good boyfriend and they have a son who will be 1 in June. She's proud of me, as well as my mom, that I've grown up so much in the last 6 months. I figured it was about time. So my vacation was filled with helping my mom and eating to much. April 15th was my mom's birthday. I spent the day with her and part of the afternoon with my bestie, I came back home and had a few drinks with my mom and then went to bed. It's always insteresting because my mom gets brutally honest and chatty when she's drinking. Overall there wasn't anything bad about my trip. My bestie's boyfriend is really good friend's with my ex, so that could have been a disaster, but he respected my wishes to not see him or have him around or even have him have my phone number.

Okay here comes the rant part.

I come home after being gone 8 days to a sticky dirty wood floor, the kitchen floor was almost black and you couldn't walk through it with out your stock getting gooed to the floor. There was crumbs and food on the counter. There were sticky spots on the living room floor and cat hair and litter. The bathroom was just gross....I won't go into detail. So not even being home a day and I'm already back to the same old same old. I started with the bathroom. I just did a quick clean with some clorox wipes, when I finally cleaned the bathroom it took me almost an hour to get it clean. Now I could understand if it was just my boyfriend, because not all guys are really clean, but his mom lives here too. So I cleaned the nasty spots on the floor. Boyfriend's kids where here when I got home so I didn't want to spend a day cleaning, I actually wanted to see them and get to spend some time with them. So when I cleaned the floor on Monday it took me almost 2 hours to do the kitchen, the hallway, and the living room. But lets back it up a little bit to Sunday night. The kid's mom comes and gets them at 630 pm. I went in to start supper at around 4 so that I knew it would be done in time for them to eat. Boyfriend's mom was already in there getting things ready. SO I let her cook even though earlier she had told me to get something out for ME to cook for supper. So she made baked chicken and instant mashed potatoes and green beans. Well out of the kids, the girl will eat anything, she's not picky but the boy is really picky and I know he won't eat anything she made. I don't say anything because it's really not my place. But her chicken wasn't cooked all the way and the mashed potatoes were runny and cold and at least the green beans were good even though I hate canned veggies. Her rolls weren't done on the inside but almost burnt on the outside. So after everyone stomached through supper and the kids are off to their moms. Things settle down. Come Monday night she asks me to cook again. I make Velveta potatoes and tuna. She doesn't eat. But she complained because nothing was cooked when she got home. So last night I made a roast and potatoes in the oven and corn. Thinking okay this is a nice healthy wholesome dinner. She refuses to eat and makes herself a hot dog. So I clean up the kitchen and do all the dishes and put the leftovers away. Soon I hear her slamming around in the kitchen. Boyfriend askes her what's wrong, now keep in mind this is about 4 hours after we ate and she had eaten her hot dog, she calls in to him "I just want something to eat", he said the food's in the fridge we didn't want it to go bad. She said, " I don't want that, I want something good." I was like...OMG! I pride myself on my cooking. I am a very good cook. Anyone who eats my cooking, well mostly anyone, loves my food. Boyfriend then informed me that she cooked every night while I was gone but supper was never ready before 9 pm. Now keep in mind that he has to get up at 130 am to go to work and is normally in bed and asleep by 9.


Okay....so I am just extremely frustrated and ready to go to school in the fall. I want to have my own house where I don't have to deal with people being sloppy and mean. I know for a fact that anytime anything gets spilled by my boyfriend he cleans it up. I also know for a fact that he stomachs her food. He covers it in hot sauce, which he doesn't do when I cook. So I asked him why and he said because my food tastes good by itself.





Sounds similer to a situation i was once in. I know it sucks but just like all phases of our life, this phase will pass too.

I'm so sorry ibcute. My family is very messy and it made it hard when I was living there, but at least they were MY family so I had built up some kind of tolerance for them over the years. I don't think I could live with my in-laws I would lose my mind. You and LBL are in a very similar situation it might help you to talk to her about it sometime.

 I think its a typical case of mommy-son syndrome. Mom cant let go, and she sees you as a direct threat to her relationship with her son. Thing is, you cant ever really "get rid" of her (not legally) so in some ways, you sort of just have to suck it up. KNow that you have the support of your boyfriend and focus on that. It totally sucks you had to come home to that though :(


"If lightning strikes twice, I dont want to be standing next to you! "

I completely agree with 2na. and in the mean time, it might offer peace of mind to consider what might cause a person to behave that way...

could it be that she compares herself to you and feels inadequate in housekeeping, culinary expertise, employment, education, and/or how much you can "juggle"? I can see why she might. If she were forced to recognize this, things would probably get worse, so I wouldn't mention it to anyone. Just know the things she says and does MIGHT BE signs of how she's feeling and that she'd rather throw fits than improve herself.

I only use my powers for good - 95% of the time anyway

improve & remove!

improve yourself supportive status by means of furthering your education. which you are doing this fall. good for you hon.

remove yourself from the situation and/or environment as soon as you are financially able to do so.

do not let others change who you are.



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