Who are the people in YOUR neighborhood?

I can't wait to move.  I know there are freaks and weirdos everywhere, but with so many fewer people where I'm headed, percentage-wise, anyway, there should be fewer of these type of bizarre incidents.

I had to get some grocery shopping done this afternoon.  I was wandering the store, calculator, grocery list, pen and coupons in hand, when I realized I was being followed.  Yes, followed.  In the grocery store.  No, I'm not paranoid, I was actually being followed.  There was a man in an orange shirt with a really, really red face watching my every move, paying entirely too much attention to every single item I put into my cart.  M'kay, let's get me closer to people, employees.  Cool, a bunch of big, burly meat department guys seem to be having a Union Meeting over by the freezer.  I'll just go chill over there for a few, pretend I care about frozen chicken gizzards until my new-found stalker moves along.

I hung out by the frozen meats for a few minutes, and Mr. Orange-shirt was nowhere to be seen.  M'kay, that was really strange, moving on now.  Back to where I was, more crap in the cart, 3 aisles later, there's that freak again!  WTF?!?!?!?  This time, he approaches me.  He's mumbling, so I can't hear or understand him, and motioning for me to come closer.  Not a chance, speak up, dude.  He rambled something about having just found a job, but he won't get paid until next week, and just needs some food until then.  "Sorry, I really can't."  No, I don't need money, I need your help.  I have a credit card, so I want to put YOUR groceries on MY card.  I'll give you 30% off, I'll have some cash, and we'll both be happy.  "I'm really not interested."  At this point, I've made it to the end of the aisle, but he's still creeping up on me, mumbling about saving me 30%.  Then, he started YELLING at me, right there in the store.  "What, you don't want to save money?  What the $@%# is wrong with you?  Why won't you help me?"  Whoa.  I pop out of the aisle I was in, and into the main area, by the bakery section.  Crap, nobody here, this guy's freaking me right the frack out.  He's yelling louder now, I don't even know what he's going on about at this point, I just want away, and fast.  I'm almost jogging now, trying to get towards the registers, towards people, and away from this freak.  He's attracted attention now, and some store employees are headed in the general direction.  Good.  Behind them, police.  Confusing, but even better.  Turns out, I wasn't the first person he approached with this scheme of his, someone brought it to the store manager's attention, and he called the cops before approaching creepy Mr. Orange Shirt, just in case.

Anywho, thanks to this freak, my hour long grocery shopping trip nearly turned into a 3 hour tour, complete with a statement to the Police.  Awesome.  Have I mentioned just how badly I can't wait to move?

   

   

Comments

lol!  Stevie, that's not a scam, that's a bargain.  ;) 

LOL

 

Your wife and My mom should NEVER meet. They could dual-handedly fuel the entire mexican economy! 

"So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb. "

Reminds me of a time that we were in Nuevo Larado, Mexico and as we walked the streets and went in and out of shops, alway in site was this guy with an armful of blankets and a stack of tall woven baskets on his head.  He was EVERYWHERE we went.  And he was always looking at us.  He would be across the street, down the street, looking at us from outside store windows.

Later that day, I got separated from my wife and when I found her, she was carrying a basket and blanket she bought from the guy.  It then dawned on me.... he was waiting for me to get lost so he could sell my wife some junk.

Geez - I feel your pain! I once was approached by a dude in the bakery department asking me if I could point out where things were in the store 'cause he had never been there before. He looked ok, seemed nice enough and I didn't want to be rude. We chatted a little, I showed him where the different sections were - end of story, right? Wrong! Apparently, he followed me home! The next day, I come home from work and there he is!! I'm, like, 'Dude, this is not cool..." This went on for a couple of weeks until the guy was finally tazer-ed by the cops outside my house for fighting with my neighbor. Yikes! What's wrong with people?

 

 

Geez.  Sorry to hear that, but I'm glad it turned out okay. 

レ∆∂ㄚ๒ㄩииㄚレ◊√∑Я

 

Thats why I talk to you... 

"So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb. "

That is so disturbing.  I'm sorry that happened to you.  Sometimes I feel like I have "please talk to me if you're creepy" written on my forehead. 

"still when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest with an S on my chest, oh yes..."

What a creepy creeperton!  So sorry that happened to you Lady.

 

Ughhhh that makes my stomach hurt.  

"So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb. "

oh em gee!

i cannot believe you had to experience that lady.c! these are the stories we hear or read about. never knew anyone that actually lived it. so thankful he didn't pull out a six shooter and lay everyone out. that would definitely turn me into a grocery by mail girl.

wow! glad you are okay. and, when you move, text me your address and i'll give you a background report on everyone in your neighborhood. *hugs*

><))))'>  

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