downgirl2182's blog

Hey Gugs welcome my friend Lestat100585

He is a friend from way back in the day. A really good guy and did I mention cute ladies?! HAHAHA I know how some of you female GUGS can be Laughing.. Seriously though I think he would make a great memeber of the GUG family . Hes very intelligent when it comes to computers and such. We are always in need of good people here and hes also Drama free! So no pitter patter crap being scooted. OK thought I would let everyone know!

There is more to life than the internet get a life.

I dont appreciate people from this site emailing me about a bunch of BS I dont even know about. Yes I used to be a dancer, Ive quit for 3 years , yes im a drug addict and always will be but im recovering for three years now oh and yes at one time I was a slut. Atleast i can get who I want when I want. Did I mention I dont care what people think about me? I am who I am and yes Ive done some bad things in my life but people grow up and become better people and thats me. You all dont know me so dont judge. The only person who I care that thinks anything about me is god and not anyone else.

big boy seat!

So finally after waiting impatiently after 2 weeks almost 3 Ive finally got in punkys new car seat! Its an evenflo titan and it dark navy blue. Many cool features like a cup and snack holder(yes hes a snackin man!) and memory foam and also it passed a fedreal crash test of times 2 the normal! I had to have it! Stylin and profilin! oh and the best safe! Im so happy he has his big boy seat now he can look out the window! Ive also read a lot of good reviews and guides about this seat and how it has saved many a child and how its very functional. Im in love with adn so is he! As soon as I got the straps adjusted and to fit him i put him in it and strapped him in. Oh man he must love it because he let out a huge squell and smiled so big and cheesy! So heres the photograph of it! LOL! Yes I know hes a goof troop and yes hes cute and hes all mine! <3

SHOOT ME!

So Monday I had a sore throat no big deal right? WRONG! Tuesday mrning rolls around and I wake up with a pounding headache and as sson as i rise up I throw up like I had drank a whole bottle of everclear and a 12 pack of rolling rock. Now the headache is gone and the throwing up but now there is a new set of problems. My lungs feel like they are filled with goop and my nose couldnt smell horse crap if it was under it or in it for that fact.

Finally

So I got my tax check back and had plenty of money this year to be able to buy a new pc. I ended up getting a gateway pc. It has a 22 inch glossy hi-def monitor so i can see everything without squenting my eyes all the time. YAY! I just dont want this PC to get all the spyware and adware my last pc had on it. Does anyone know of any good anti-spyware and adware programs? Im so excited :) This is the first time in years I have been able to buy myself something nice for once.

Reconcile

Well Since I was 14 I had this friend name Nicque. Over the past 12 years we became best friends. We did everything together you can imagine. I always thought this girl would be there for me through good and bad but I was wronged. When I got my second DUI and quit drinking and quit all my substance abuse the first year was horrific. I was struggling to stay clean and it didnt help that my so called best friend pretty much ragged on me all the time that I was a loser. She would get mad at me because I never wanted to go out to bars and clubs and that I would stay home a lot. It really hurt my feeling that the person who was supossed to support me through everything was calling me lame and a loser because I didnt want to go out to bars. Im sorry but the last darn thing you want to do when you are trying to come clean is be in an effing bar.  It also didnt help that we both got pregnant at the same time. I found out on christmas even and she found out on christmas. This was her second and my first. Our kids due date were a day apart. I thought this would make us closer but little did I know it was about to test us then eventually our friendship would fall apart. Well since I can remember my friend had been always competing with me. She would always try to get all these guys because she felt insecure and thought I would always steal me from her. I cant help who the men were attracted too but even if I thought they were cute I wouldnt even date them for respect of my friend. She also would brag about all the things her parents would buy for her and rub it in all the time. We both have family who are good off but I would never brag about anything. I would say mom and I went shopping and got this and this. She would say mom bought me a 500$ rocker and a spent a 1000 on the babies room. What erked me was that this co called rocker had to be put together ! No rocker costs 500 that you have to put together! She only said it because my mom got me one that was nice and oak that she got form a furniture store, I never said that but it was. So you all getting my drift here (rolls eyes) . Anyways this went on and on then one day it hit the fan. She came to a concert(show) that my boyfriend was playing at and right across the road was the liquor store.  She said let go so i can get shaun(her fiance) something I said ok and went. We were both about 6 months prego at that time. When we get in there she gets him his fave beer and a bottle of wine which Ive known she has drank for years. I said when did he start drinking that she said hes not its for me. I was LIVID!!!!!!! This wasnt the first time she had drank since she was prego either oh and needless to say she still smoke pot the whole time. I couldnt handle it! What really got me going is she was mad because her brothers wedding was the next summer and she was mad that she couldnt smoke weed on the way down to the wedding which was going to be in myrtle beach (we live in Indiana) because she would have the baby with them!!!!!!!!! I was so mad I didnt say anything! She called the next day i answered and said I have to go im busy and kept that going on for the next month then eventually she stopped calling. So she asked or friend jenni what was up and she said Kristi is mad at you for  this and this ( what Ive explained)  and etc. Well she gave up calling and we hadnt spoke for months. About a 2 months ago she had messaged me and said a bunch of crap that she couldnt believe I was acting this way and ect. So this went on back and forth fighting for about 3 days then we stopped emailing. Well today I get another email from her saying she was sorry and that she crossed the line and she missed me and wants to see the baby and all kinds of stuff. So I gave in and called her. We didnt fight all we did was cath up on stuff like nothing ever happened.

Pure Love

Im sure of all you have seen or read this a million times about mothers and fathers and how much they love their children. Well I just wanted everyone to know my story and how I feel today.

Since I was 14 I pretty much lost my way and ended up hanging out with the wrong kids. I was raised by a good family where no one had any drug or alcohol issues. My dad is the Asst fire chief where I live and my uncle was Asst chief of police and my two cousins are SWAT, and my Great grandfather was sheriff. I come from a family with very strict rules and very high expectations and good morals. Somehow I strayed from my family and ended up hanging around the wrong kids like I said and started using drugs. My the time I was 18 i was a full fledged drug addict but didnt know that yet until I graduated school and went into the work force.  Being the addict and alcoholic I was my first choice for a job was a stripper. I worked as a dancer until I was 23. In that short amount of time I went from just using so called non hard drugs to using moprhine everday and other various painkillers along with a half gallon of 151 on top and a case of beer. I was spending around 800 a week on my habit.  I was gone completely gone. I had a failed marriage and moved away from home(Indiana to Oklahoma) thinking it would cure my ills. I had been in and out of rehabs and Institutions for my drug problem and mental issues and nothing ever worked. My family didnt know how to deal with me because they have never seen this before in anyone they have known. They pretty much gave up on me and although they were nice to my face I knew they hated me and the things I have been doing. Fast Forward and Im 23 , Im back home in Indiana for a Christmas vacation and the first night Im back in town I get arrested for my second DUI. Im forced to move back home to Indiana and got to probation 5 days a weeks for the next 3 years. Im supposed to be on antabuse( a drug that cause an alcohol reaction when you drink) but then found out I had a form of liver disease from using and drinking so much.  Now im 25 and I havent drank since and the only pills I tak are what Im prescribed for my Fibromyalgia and for my liver. Wow what a ride! When I was 24 I found out I was pregnant, I couldnt have been more scared in my life. I felt sorry for myself and so did my family because they were scared what would happen If I started using again.  Well now here I am with the most beautiful boy and the best behaved baby that never cries and only smiles. The moral of this story is all the shit I have put myself through i think was just a test to what lies ahead. I think that if all this stuff never happened to me I wouldnt have realized what true , pure and uncondtional love is. Ive never in my life been this happy or this excited to just wake up in the morning to see this small little face smiling at me just waiting for me to feed and change him. He doesnt know whats wrong but I instantly make everything better and he loves me for that. The love I feel inside me is so strong that sometimes I cant handle it and just cry tears of joy for that once in my life everything is ok and everything is alright and that I must live another day and fight my addictions so that Im alive and well to spend the rest of my life with son and his father. I would do anything just to see my family happy. I am finally in Love with this little poopy butt, puking , cooing little wonder and Im fine with that!!!!!! I just wanted the world to know that although your life can be hard and sometimes so much you just want to run and hide that one day your day will come to where you feel pure joy instead of sadness

Enough already. So Sad

Im watching the live broadcast of the missing pregnant marine right now. Breaking new is that she is dead now and buried somewhere near camp lejuene.  Im so sad and so livid right now I dont know what way is up. What the hell is wrong with these men! Im sick of seeing missing pregnant women who end up killed. None of these murders really meant much to me until now because im a new mother. I cant imagine why people would kill a pregnant woman. Ok Kill the woman but dont let the baby die. What in the world did that baby do? This is a helpless little innocent soul that hasnt done anything and you decide to take it from the world?! Are people really this messed up? Im so hurt right now I dont even know what to think, I just wanted to write about this because I want to know if people feel the same way I do. 

Something not right here

Well I live in northeast Indiana about and hour and a half from the ohio state line and about 3 hours from the michigan line.  Ok enough about my demographics or whatever you call it.

When I was a kid I remember that in January we always had snow on the ground and it was never above the temperature of 40. Well this past 2 weeks has been crazy! One day its a blizzard and then two days later its 50 degrees and its thunderstorming.  Im sick of it! Im sure this isnt the only place in America that is like this. Its winter not Spring! This is evidence to show you all the damage we have done to our ecosystem. Ive only been on this earth for a mere 25 years but in that short time Ive seen some huge changes on this earth. Its absolutely terrifying to be honest. Is the sun going to frying people in a 100 years? or is it going to be in a deep freeze? I mean what the heck is going on here? Everyone says recycle and reuse and buy organic and buy low gas emisson cars and ect ect ect... But how many people can actually afford to do this? I know I cant. I would love to be able to help out the planet I live I really would and it hurts me inside to think I cant because Im not rich. Everything is so backwards! Its not right. Then celebs claim they are so eco friendly and donate large sums of money to charitys and blah blah, so they end up looking like some hero. Its not freaking OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Normal people like me who doesnt even make 30,000 a year hell even 20,000 should be able to have the choice to buy a car that doesnt spew out crap and be able to buy organic foods at low costs. I do what I can do on my budget but I have a 5 month old son and cant be spending every penny I have on eco friendly things. Its a shame that people who would love to help our planet cant because they dont have the fundsCry

Ok maybe im going out on a limb here

 well for my first blog on GUG Im going to write about something thats been on the media and my mind a lot lately.

Im sick of turning on the TV and seeing shit about brittney spears on every channel. At first I didnt feel bad for her at all. Now that I see all the media coverage and the things she is going through I honestly I have to say I feel for her in a wierd way. We both have many things in common to be truthfull about the matter.

   

   

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