Writers Corner- Posting Your Work

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supervioletrays
Re: Writers Corner- Posting Your Work

Yes, your very right. It was kind of briging closure to a dream. But,yes. I considered making that the end, but the poem kept going. When I write, its emotion writing, not my body. So it very much could have been an ending there. It brings the dream to an end. An awakening.

---The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had---

supervioletrays
Re: Writers Corner- Posting Your Work

 When I'm in the mood, I'm in the mood. This poem was written tonight, same time as the one below. Here, for your pleasure: Edit: This poem is about suicide and the trip to hell. References are made to the River Styx and the stories that go with it.


Blood so sweet

Its gentle flow

Beating with the soul

Crimson red

Battered blue

Warm rivers tide

A cooling show

Relax, it won’t hurt

Drive the knife again

 

Ignore the warnings

Dream away

Let Charon carry

Not much farther

Peering over the edge

Take a sip

Songs sing so low

Thirst avenged

Drive the knife again

 

Devils grin

Godly shadow

Light fade away

Small life

Long figure

Sentence not go away

Forever burning

Knife dug deep

                                                                                              There to stay

 

 

---The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had---

Hot2na
Re: Writers Corner- Posting Your Work

[quote=supervioletrays]

 

Ignore the warnings

Dream away

Let Charon carry

Not much farther

Peering over the edge

Take a sip

Songs sing so low

Thirst avenged

Drive the knife again

 

Devils grin

Godly shadow

Light fade away

Small life

Long figure

Sentence not go away

Forever burning

Knife dug deep

 There to stay

 

[/quote]

i found these two verses kind of at peace. ready. done with the fight. done with the battle. let the ending begin.

Tuna ><(((( '> the other white meat! I am Keeper Of The Whip!

supervioletrays
Re: Writers Corner- Posting Your Work

Its interesting how we see poetry differently. The idea, for me, was that the person or even an idea kills themself. The second verse talks about the trip to Hell. Charon is the boat driver on the River Styx, the river that connects this world to the underworld. Take a sip, Songs sing so low, Thirst avenged talks about the fact that if anyone drank from the Styx, they would lose their voice for... 7 years, I believe.... And the final verse is Hell itself. The deeper root is like you said, giving up. Letting the end come forth. Dark stuff, huh?

---The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had---

Hot2na
Re: Writers Corner- Posting Your Work

mine come to me at the most inopportune time. i was in the shower about 30 minutes ago. came up with this, as part III to the two other hate pieces i put up earlier:

have you figured it out?
they're all about you.
those mean things you say
they make me write true.

you talk tough like a boy,
then try to act coy.
there's not much you can do,
cause i'm on to you!

Tuna ><(((( '> the other white meat! I am Keeper Of The Whip!

supervioletrays
Re: Writers Corner- Posting Your Work

Short, sweet, and to the point. Not much to say... I think it speaks for itself. Very good.

---The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had---

Wonderland
Re: Writers Corner- Posting Your Work

Looking through some papers and came across this little thing I wrote -

I need that moment.  Of intensity.  Of letting go. 

Of finding something I didn't know was there.

I feed off it.  It fills me up.  It calls my name.

Begs me to come.

I run into it's open, tempting arms. 

Lose myself.

Pulsate under it's steady beat.  And I drift away.

 

 

 

"I'm just trying to find a decent melody...song that I can sing in my own company."

supervioletrays
Re: Writers Corner- Posting Your Work

Sounds like there is a lot of menaing there.... Nice.

---The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had---

supervioletrays
Re: Writers Corner- Posting Your Work

Now listen. If I can post all these deep poems, everyone else who writes sure can to. Todays happy poem:


You call me a friend

Yet there you walk away

Turn your back on me

For the one you don’t know

You lying b*tch

Crushing soul

Shattered memories

Broken man

See how you feel

An empty car in the morning

Nothing left behind

Read the book when I’m gone

Cry blood tears

You speak anger

I scream pain

Falling down

Tumbling mountains crawl

See sun gone

Clouds of black

Pools of red

Lying by the feet

A guns short nature

Bloods fast run

Feel the pain

Break your dam* heart

Holes of endless flight

Flames licking my feet

Time to go

Burn away

In the hell you created

Today

 

 

---The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had---

supervioletrays
Re: Writers Corner- Posting Your Work


Look at the savior on the mount

Calling out to the masses below

Hear his words, his lies

At he tells of a brighter tomorrow

He tells of a heaven

A place that shows happiness

Yet in the end we’re all shown

A bloody fu*king hell

 

She stands there talking about the future

About how perfect it will be

Yet flying in her lying eyes

Temptations fires flame

She smiles and asks if all is right

A smile, a yes

Waking up dead in my bed

 

Sing me a seductive song

Let it play upon my ears

String the harp of my heart

Then hit that note sharp

Let the music transform

Change from the sweet love sounds

To the bitter moans of sorrow

Let the music take you away

 

The preacher stand tall

Reading about the last

It was all spelled out clear

About what brought down the deer

The free animal of natures love

Shot down by a shot to the heart

Lived by the lies he was taught

Now no more thoughts does he hold

 

Lying there, face in pain

You walk by, cry, and stare

For you were the hunter looking for gold

Let the fire now reign in your hell

 

As for that which I now see

Nine rings go to bear

The burden of my cursed life with you

The pleasure that you once took

Forever now may I rest

In the god dam*ed hole of Satins breath

Gone for good do I now exist


 

---The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had---

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