Facebook – Harbinger of Doom or a Vial of Tranquility? – Part 2

In recent news from strange and weird fact files, I talked about how Facebook is really affecting our lives. Touching first base with Facebook privacy policies was one of the top priorities, since a fraction of Facebook users are oblivious to the proper etiquettes of managing privacy settings.

Though I’m not going to unravel a tutorial about each and every privacy setting here, I did post the example of how Facebook plans on using a person’s profile picture for random online ads on the network. It was meant to illustrate a bigger picture for your concern.

FacebookThis second part of the post uncovers a shroud of darkness that has perhaps bogged down our minds with what I like to call the ‘Facebook Glam’. Beneath its blue bordered layout, there lies an intricate network of policies, politics, benefits and negatives that you have to be aware of in the long run.

How Facebook Shattered a Wonderful Relationship?

Case 1 – The Women Who Did Her Dirty Laundry in Public:

While sifting through different anti-Facebook posts on the internet, I stumbled upon something quite interesting. There was a man and a woman who had been married for 10 years. 3 kids later, this woman starts “seeing” her ex on Facebook.

Things got a little serious after the husband discovered that dear ol' wifey had been keeping secrets from him just because of a special someone on Facebook. Soon they had a serious argument, which eventually turned to the point of a breakup. The moment, this argument took place, the guy admits that he wasn’t really adamant on breaking up, so he kind of went outside for a walk.

Meanwhile, his wife updated her status to Single, and informed Mr. Nobody, upon his return, that 15 of her online friends “Liked” and commented on her status! It was a perfect OMFG-Are-You-Crazy situation. I’d say that she took Facebook way more seriously than it was supposed to be taken.

The readers on this website will think that this relationship had obvious issues. Especially the fact and the way how this pretty lady was engaging on Facebook, they had it coming. However, if it weren’t for Facebook, maybe she’d have never found her ex.  A decade of marriage is a long time. What about their kids? Perhaps everyone could have survived if she didn’t do her dirty laundry in public.

This above case study loosely defines the adverse side effects of Facebook. It is a side of this social network that cant be ignored. In my honest opinion, Facebook did have a role to play in their tumultuous relationship, but it wasn’t that much significant. More or less, Facebook was just a tool that was used in a wrong fashion at a wrong time.

But here’s another thing – People, who delete their accounts or deactivate them; they think that the information is gone for good. Well, look again. Facebook doesn’t permanently erase user info. The online network keeps it for two reasons:

  • a)  You will probably want to reactivate your account later.
  • b)  Online companies buy user information from Facebook for millions of dollars. Why would Facebook want to get rid of this precious information?

 Even if this lady had removed herself from Facebook, the ex-boyfriend would have contacted her after looking up her info. 


Case 2 – The Story of Jack ‘n Jill:

Jack and Jill are just fictional names that I gave to a couple on Facebook. They were very much in love, which compelled them to share each and everything with one another. They had their own circle of friends on Facebook, but things got out of hand eventually.

After updating their recent marriage and honeymoon photographs, the wife receives a personal message from someone on Facey-B. It said, “I have slept with only two men in my life. Your husband is definitely one of them. Thanks to him, had I not discovered that I was infected with Chlamydia, months after sleeping with him, I’d have probably married someone, with kids of my own. I envy you and I am really sorry…

Further research, Q&A’s and staring at each other sessions revealed that someone was just trying to ruin their relationship. The guy was honest; he never slept with this woman. He personally sent messages to her Facebook friends, begging them to convince her for a contact. Most of them admitted that they didn’t even know her in real life, while only one snobbish b*atch told them to bugger off! Ouch.

Anyway, the seed of doubt was successfully planted. It took a long time for this couple to recover and get back on track. Trusting each other again was quite an adventure for them.

Let's move on a bit, shall we? Remember the time when digital cameras were released for the first time? The entire world wanted to take a snapshot, depicting a perfectly happy lifestyle. It was like taking shots after shots of various poses where you wanted to project a true visual definition of ‘hey I’m having a good or a bad time right now’.

But then Facebook came along. I can see lots of photographs were people are crying on a mattress or in a toilet, over a recent breakup. There are pictures of moms B-Feeding their youngsters, weird people with weird fetishes, snaps of misery and all the stuff that’s supposed to remain private.

Telegraph UK’ recently conducted a survey concerning Facebook’s impact on the rate of divorce. It was reportedly found out that almost one in five cases involve traces of Facebook. Yikes, this really sucks, doesn’t it? The institute of marriage was already shambling – Facebook started making it worse.

What the Hell Man? Facebook is a Nice Communication Tool:

Yes, yes, in the end it comes to how beneficial Facebook is. When used for making money as an affiliate marketer, online or offline business owner, or a mere entrepreneur, you can benefit a lot from Facey-B. Also, it doesn’t hurt to open Facebook during office hours, just to look into status updates from your friends, does it? I mean, who cares if you are wasting your company’s time – they were doing fine without you already. A few minutes on Facebook wont hurt anyone.

So far, I have been painting a darker picture here. I tried to make everything look better and in favor of Facebook, but it was too difficult for me. It is true that at its best, Facebook is a great opportunity for business people, developers and ambitious individuals. Facebook is also a great way to remain connected all day long. I mean, even if you are sleeping and you have jacked in your cell number on Facebook, you will get updates 24/7.

Sometimes these updates are not necessary at all. Like, for instance, there’s this guy who likes to tag people on Facebook. My brother receives tons of notifications from him, and many others at 3:00 AM in the morning. It’s kind of weird. I had my phone notifications turned on at default settings, but I had to turn it off eventually. These days, I am in a Facebook Account Deactivation phase, as my account was disabled by me recently.

It’s just to see how life goes on without using Facebook.

How Much Facebook is Contributing to Youngsters?

We already know the answer to this question. Youngsters, who are at the age of docility; they need to be monitored. What about a school going kid whose top priority in life is to study, be a good kid to his/her parents, be a nice friend, a good peer and vice versa? Facebook, when cringed in this lifestyle, sort of disturbs the balance.

Kids spend more time communicating with each other online, instead of the good ol’ fashioned way. Parents can monitor their kids’ activities and set time for using Facebook but how long is this going to go? Eventually, things just take a wild turn.

I haven’t even touched other topics; a long list irritating incidents that are the brain and brawn of Facebook these days. If I were to go into further details, this post will take the shape of a 100 page thesis. To conclude it all, Facebook is… well… it’s Facebook. You either like it or you hate it. Disabling an account wont affect Facebook’s sturdy stream of profit; at least not on an individual level!

Now, I have to go and update my Status. Until next time my dear friends and frenemies! See you all later.





The moral of the story; "Online is a just a digital mirror of offline.".

I read your article in its entirety and was glued to it completely. I find so much of it so true and was surprised that I agreed on most of your points and I am also phasing out of my "facey-B" phase ;) I absolutely admire your thinking and style of getting your thoughts across. You surely said most better than I could have imagined myself doing so. I just wanted to express what might not be so much of a difference of opinion as just maybe another view, I am not, nor do I claim to be or ever have been a "writer", I am only an at home mother,so I just ask that you see that I mean absolutely no disrespect by voicing my opinion and that you only see that it could possibly be true to some. Nor am I particularly up for or enjoy a debate :( However I would absolutely love to know yours and others thoughts and critiques on the subject. Thinking maybe its all a part of this whole mid life crisis thing so many talk about ;) Well, about me wanting to know and the facey-B thing. lol.

As I read the article I found myself continually just nodding my head in agreeance and that struck me because I dont always find myself so intrigued with articles that are about or refer to any type of social phenomenon. As I continued to think about the article and whether or not I would respond, I realized that maybe this is one of those epiphonies? Maybe I just have a huge lack of stimulus in my day to day life, but never the less, it's definitely served to amuse and add to my day while my son is in school refueling for tonights debate on whichever new topic he'd like to argue with me when gets home :) I tend to believe that people are just people and its media for the most part that brings attention to certain aspects or faults of our everyday lives. Wow, such a broad statement, which is why the disclaimer in the beginning ;) But truly, it seems we are so much more screwed up as each day passes since media has become such a force. Now I am neither saying media is or bad or good, only recognizing it's presence and it's possible effects. A thought that I recently discussed with a friend was the whole thing with children taking their own lives because of a song they heard, while I dont deny that maybe they shouldnt have had access to that type of material or that maybe they should have had better supervision or maybe even that if both parents didnt have to work, it never would have happened. Which I believe in the entirety of my statement explains itself. There are absolutely too many factors involved to blame any one in particular, unless of course you are only capable of seeing one or only choose to see one and hold it primarily responsible.

If I were brave, I could say that it is all of our faults for letting society become what it is, but then that would mean that I myself as well as every one else reading this would have to take some responsibility for such an occurence. This is getting way deeper than I had really expected to get. For the most part, what I am trying to say is that, whether people air their personal lives on f-b or not, they are going to do what they are going to do. I truly believe that so many people find their stimulus on f-b because of a lack of effort trying to find it or the effort it takes to walk out of the home or the room or even out doors to find it elsewhere, whether because of responsibilities elsewhere or laziness. I think that as a whole, we have, at least in my part of the world, have become lazy and expect our stimulus to come to us in the form of a computer screen and what we might find just beyond our keyboards.

I do believe that each of these couples would have encountered issues despite f-b because each of these individuals felt how they felt, they wanted what they wanted, and some were searching for something they believed they lacked, and they felt that way whether they would have been on f-b or not. I personally recently found my first love of over 20 years ago, he promised the world and then basically crushed mine. I did not find him via f-b, however I did of course use the pc. Had I wanted to take the long route, I could have found him in a variety of other ways, I guess my point being that, I had something inside me that needed to go there, and I went. I think people have been screwed up since day one, and that the only difference is that now we have so many new nifty tools to use to do it and media to poll it and advertise it. I think when it comes down to it, for me, in the big picture, we all appear like children with new toys, trying them out and testing their, and our, boundaries with each to see where they take us and where we end up, and rarely considering the end result. I hope I have made some sort of sense to someone anyways ;) If not, well I dont know, get rid of this silly post ;) and chalk it up to the mid life crisis :) In closing, I just thought Id share the words I look at daily on my monitor. "A computer is like a light-brite for bad *"friggin" ideas. And hoping everyone here has a truly wonderful day ;)

peace out~
*changed for pg

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