lol animals /macros/ random/ general internet humor

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Moonshooter
Re: WallyWorld

On your next trip with the kids to WallyWorld, try some of the following for entertainment purposes:

 
1. Get 24 boxes of stuff and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream . . . "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

 

I've learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I've usually made the right decision.

iamthedevil
Re: lol animals /macros/ random/ general internet humor

Nifty little animation of a computer drawn stick-man fighting back against his creator...

http://fc01.deviantart.com/fs13/f/2007/077/2/e/Animator_vs__Animation_by_alanbecker.swf

LadyCerridwen48
Re: lol animals /macros/ random/ general internet humor

OMGs!  That was adorable!!!  I love the rubber eraser shield! 

 

"How do you know I'm mad?" asked Alice.
"You must be", said the cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here"

Stevie
Re: lol animals /macros/ random/ general internet humor

I got this in my email today (I'm from Kentucky):


Three men from Texas were sitting together one day bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Tennessee and had told her that she was going to have to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Indiana. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a girl from Kentucky. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little bit out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.

Stevie
Re: lol animals /macros/ random/ general internet humor

A POEM FOR COMPUTER USERS OVER 40

A computer was something on TV
From a Science Fiction show of note,
A window was something you hated to clean
And RAM was the father of a goat.

MEG was the name of my girlfriend
And GIG was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes.

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.

A Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3-in. Floppy
You hoped nobody found out.

Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while.

Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A Web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu.

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head.
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead.

-Unknown

NeverSayDie
Re: lol animals /macros/ random/ general internet humor

Literary sleuth Sherlock Holmes and his trusty sidekick, Dr. Watson, were on a camping trip. They pitched their tent, unrolled their sleeping bags, fixed dinner, and then, after a good meal and a chat around the campfire, went to bed. In the middle of the night, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars," rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

"What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.

"Watson, you fool! Someone has stolen our tent!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a story I can relate to more then I'll ever be able to explain. I'll notice the obscure right away, but you can hit me in the face with an "obvious bat" and I'll just stand there wondering why my head hurts?

Hot2na
general internet humor

yes. i am buying this for husband of mine because he is SO confident, that he would appreciate the humor in it:

  

Tuna ><(((( '> the other white meat! I am Keeper Of The Whip!

Daqutequeenb
Re: lol animals /macros/ random/ general internet humor

Oh-em-gee at that flip flop thing! Hilarious.....that MJ picture cracks me up as well...great...great lol

Stevie
Re: lol animals /macros/ random/ general internet humor

I made that during my Mr. Bean phase.

PrincessB
Re: lol animals /macros/ random/ general internet humor

I love it. I think I might have to have this as my myspace default picture.

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