need some advice

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writtenstatic
need some advice

What would the best thing to do if you knew your friend's boyfriend was cheating on her?

And that her boyfriend was aware that you knew?

 

Would you tell her somehow someway?

 

I can't stand this anymore, knowing what I know. I am to the point that I can't be around my friend and her boyfriend, watching the displays of affection,ect...

 

What would you do?

 

   

   

Stevie
Re: need some advice

Ewww. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.  If you do tell her, your friend might be mad at you for not telling sooner.  If you don't tell, sooner or later your friend might find out you knew all along (from the boyfriend) and didn't tell her.  See - the bad thing isn't the cheating boyfriend.  The bad thing is that the boyfriend knows you know.  In your case and all else being the same, and since the boyfriend knows you know - I would tell her if you value the friendship.

This is a damn good reason to mind one's own business (not saying you didn't, but generally).  If you see someone out with someone else, you are best off "not seeing".  Pretend you didn't see anything and leave the area immediately and forget you saw anything.  Normally it's best to stay out of it... you never know each side's story.

But since the boyfriend knows you know, I don't think you have a choice.  Don't take only my opinion in consideration - lets hear from some others.

writtenstatic
Re: need some advice

Thanks for the great advice everyone!

 

I have decided that I am just going to distance myself from them both. If she ever comes around and asks why then I'll tell her.

 

Thanks again! *hugs*

Princessbell
Re: need some advice

I can't speak for everyone, but if my boyfriends were cheating I would want to know. It might be hard, because sometimes you don't want to believe the truth and blame the person telling you. Honestly though I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who would chea on me even for a minute.

Hello Cupcake
Re: need some advice

I would want to know.  And I wouldn't hold it against you for keeping it to yourself for not telling me sooner.  He knows you know and still acts lovey dovey to your friend in front of you?  What a catch.  

By the way if I saw my friend's boyfriend out with someone else, I would give him a choice, either he tells her or I do. 

Princessbell
Re: need some advice

You are so nice. I wouldn't give him a choice I would walk right up and ask if she was the tramp he got genital warts from.

Hello Cupcake
Re: need some advice

LOL!  Brilliant :)

Bear
Re: need some advice

[quote=beeeenine]

 

By the way if I saw my friend's boyfriend out with someone else, I would give him a choice, either he tells her or I do. 

[/quote]

 

 

This is the way I would go.

 

"god have mercy on the man who doubts what he's sure of"

tbear
Re: need some advice

I would want to know if it were me as well......however, I agree with a few others on here. You have to tread VERY carefully. Personally, I would never shoot the messenger and would MUCH rather know than be played for a fool.

However....I've been involved in instances where friends of mine have told other friends and it damages the friendship....not the relationship. My sister knew a close friend of ours had a cheating boyfriend. She went the route of telling the guy, "you tell her or I do". Nicely, mind you. And he took his girfriend aside, and told her that people were conspiring against him, trying to break them up. And who did the girlfriend believe....the boyfriend. The relationship ended a year or two later....due to her finally catching on. But our friendships were never the same either as her loyalty went to the guy, and she was mad at my sister and me by default for "trying to tear them apart".

I would feel her out maybe on whether she is the type that would want to know and not drag you into the middle of it. You don't want her saying to him....so and so told me (omg that opens a WHOLE can of worms). Its hard to hear the "love of your life" isn't what they say they are....and its always difficult to know who to trust. But hopefully if you tell her, she believes you. You also have to not have any expectations though on how it will turn out..meaning, if she decides to work it out with him, you need to let it go. If you tell her, tell her to use that info wisely, and to find out the evidence she needs herself to prove it to herself. Lord knows there are plenty of ways to do that. You are just giving her the heads up, how she reacts and what she does with it is up to her. And as people on here have said, and I'm reiterating, if its a close friend and you don't want to lose her, be careful with how you proceed.

Hello Cupcake
Re: need some advice

I guess what prompted my answer was what animestrinity said about the possibility of spreading disease.    Working in healthcare my mind goes there.   My friends are like my family.  And I would do anything to protect them even if they hate or don't believe me in the end.  That's just me though. 

Vash the Stampede
Re: need some advice

id say confront the boyfriend.  but if it were me, id mind my own buisness and distance myself from them.

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