Cyber Stalker help / legal advice

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Zeev
Cyber Stalker help / legal advice

Ok my fellow GuG's, I've had an on going issue that's got me annoyed beyond belief.  I am needing some help and advice on what to do about a cyber stalker.

About four years ago myself and my (now) husband briefly took in his niece.  She was in an unhappy living situation with her mother at the time and needed somewhere to go.  The intention was for her to live with us while she worked and finished her education.  That did not happen.  She did work, yes, but as far as anything else ... well let's just say she didn't do much of anything else.   After about 5-6 months of her not putting any effort into continuing her education, as well as her continuous lack of help with household finances & her extreme disrespect towards me, we approached her and basically gave her an ultimatum to shape up or ship out. 

Shortly after this "family meeting," while her Uncle was out of the house, she confronted me and accused me of turning her Uncle against her.  I told her that I was not going to discuss such an issue with her without the presence of her Uncle, and when I attempted to leave the room she physically attacked me.  After struggling with her for a good 20-30 minutes, and narrowly escaping being strangled to death, I immediately called her Uncle and told him to come home and deal with her.  (I have photos of the scratches, bruises, and choke marks.)  At the time I had considered calling the police and pressing assault charges on her, but decided to be the bigger, better person and chose not to.  Hindsight being 20-20, I now wish that I had ... even if it meant I might have been arrested also. 

Consequently she was thrown out that night for her actions.  Immediately after her being kicked out, she proceeded to slander and defame my character online.  Some of which I think I still have record of, but a lot was "locked" away from my viewing so I was not able to get it as proof.  Eventually the slander tapered off, and now, if it happens at all, I'm sure it's far and few between.  A lot of that has to do with the fact that I have either deleted or locked her out of nearly all of my online accounts ... especially the ones she did know about and even the ones she didn't know about.  Basically she has no fuel to keep her slander fire going.

I am fairly knowledgable of the cyber world, and for the most part, know how to protect myself.  However, there is one site of mine that she will not stop coming to.  It is an online journal of mine.  I have made everything private or über friend protected ... there is NOTHING that she can read (unless I specifically allow it), but she keeps coming to the site.  At first, after the falling out, this was happening every day!!  It has slowly gone down to once a month, but recently it's been two or three times a week.  Mainly because I have made a last ditch effort to publicly ask her to stop coming to my site.

This has been going on for the last FOUR years, and I am past frustrated.  I do not want to shut down my journal as I've had it for nearly 8 years, and would lose all my entries, but I can't deal with her sick infatuation with trying to get into my life any longer.  I have a tracker on my site and have gotten screen prints of the most recent of her hits to my journal.  Unfortunately, I do not have older screen captures of her previous hits to my site. 

I honestly did not expect this to go on for as long as it has, especially after I put the journal on lock down.  I thought that once there was nothing at all for her to see that she would give up and go away.  That has not been the case.  I have tried to turn the other check, I have tried to ignore her, but she just won't go away!!  As I said, I am beyond frustrated and would just like to do something to stop her once and for all. 

She has a 3 year old warrant out on her person for a misdemeanor.  In conjunction with that, is there anything legally I can do??  A cease and desist ... anything??

Any help or advice you may be able to offer would be greatly appreciated.

   

   

xylianna
Re: Cyber Stalker help / legal advise

let me see if i have this right.. .you want to know if there is anything you can do legally to make someone stop attempting to look at your website?

hubby
Re: Cyber Stalker help / legal advice

If all she is doing is viewing a website, and cant even see anything at that, then I doubt there is anything you can do - and why would you care anyway if she cant even see anything?

since you have a tracker, you presumably know her IP.. you should be able to block that IP from viewing the site.

animestrinity
Re: Cyber Stalker help / legal advice

I agree with hubby...

And on a slightly different note, I'm going to mention what you already know... publicly asking her to stop has made her show up more... because you addressed her, means you might again.... and if she doesn't come look, how will she know?

Aside from blocking her IP, if it were me personally, I'd lockdown every post, not let her see ANYTHING... and never publicly refer to her again... eventually it'll slow down again and she'll get bored... (this is if she figures out how to get around an IP block... simply checking from a different location or by proxy).. and with all that in place, more than likely she'll not want to put the effort to check anymore after a while... or if she does it'll become less than monthly.

As far as legal advice... there's nothing illegal about going to a website any number of times if she's not doing anything but looking... if I went to someone's private myspace to check if it were still private 100x a day, there's nothing anyone could do... same thing basically... she's checking to see if you've let her see anything... or made it public.. or posted something to her... or whatever... she might even check your site simply to get under your skin if you let her know that you can see when she looks at the site...

If she's harassing you and contacting you along with it, then you might want to look into your states laws on restraining orders... but I don't even think those can prevent her from just 'looking' at your site... I think that would only protect you if she continued to contact/harass/etc...

Good luck

Zeev
Re: Cyber Stalker help / legal advice

She has threatened me personally by way of sending other people after me and my property.    I do have some proof that she did it but it's not completely solid, and I doubt any judge would do anything about it.

Hubby & Anime ... ~sighs~ I know, it's just the principle of the whole thing.  When she left she explicitly said (over and over again) that she didn't want anything to do with us and was cutting us out of her life.  If that's the case, then why stalk me online for FOUR YEARS?!?  ~shakes head & sighs again~  I know that I just need to let it go, privitize the post, and NEVER post anything openly again.  I know that this deranged person is not worth it and I should stop letting her get to me.  It just sticks in my craw that I've had to take everything private because of one seriously sick and disturbed individual. 

I do have the IP's she uses.  How can I block them from the site?  I tried once before with a code I found in GUG's archives, but it didn't work.

hubby
Re: Cyber Stalker help / legal advice

how you block the IP depends on the type of site it is.. actually though, if you block the IP, unless you are also able to block all proxies (a very difficult thing to do), then she'll just come back via different proxies, and you wont know it's her.

Zeev
Re: Cyber Stalker help / legal advice

The site is LiveJournal.  I have the actual IP she used to log in as well as the entire IP range.  Is that what you're referring to?

hubby
Re: Cyber Stalker help / legal advice

ok, so i dont know how, or even IF you can block an IP on LiveJournal.. But what i'm saying is that if you block her IP, or her entire range of IPs, she will just to go one of the bazillion free web-proxies and access your page via it. The proxy will hide her IP, allow her to access the page, and then you wont know it's her because she will show up with a different IP (the IP of the proxy) ..

GoldenGirl
Re: Cyber Stalker help / legal advice

If it's an LJ, have you considered changing your username? I did that with mine, and there's an option to cut all ties with the "old" posts you made on comms (that may show up on Google results). You pay for it, but it's well worth it

DaY DrEaMeR
Re: Cyber Stalker help / legal advice

I had a tracker on my myspace and my ex's now ex-girlfriend was looking at my page up to 20 times a day. It was so agrivating to see. the best thing I did was get rid of the tracker all together. you know your niece cant see anything so what's the harm?  Just my thoughts. i know it's not the answer you're looking for.

the internet is public property so someone looking at a webpage wont hold up in court I dont think. I asked a lawyer friend and that's what they told me.

Zeev
Re: Cyber Stalker help / legal advice

~sighs~  Well it was worth a shot.  Thanks anyway guys. 

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