WHY s0c13tY tH1nkS your aN 1d10t

It's not cute. It's not cool. You look like an idiot, and that's exactly what members of the real world think you are when you write like that.

If you want anything you say to have credibility or sound remotely intelligent, then you need to learn to spell and type correctly. Functioning members of society don't care how cool you think you are. Future employers aren't going to hire you when your resume is illegible. One should not need a decoder ring to figure out what you said, and I guarantee you that the vast majority of people that can't read it easily will just ignore it.

We also assume you're around Dora the Explorer age. We can't help it. If you're typing in some sort of fashion that is a blatant attempt to look cool to other idiots, we automatically think that you're obviously not mature enough to be on the Internet and probably have no clue what you're talking about.

Let me explain a bit. Adulthood is generally understood to be that point in your life that you start considering how things affect society, and not just yourself. Eighteen is not a magic age that it happens; it can be years before or never actually happen. I believe it's generally around your early twenties that it happens for most, but even before that, we hit a point where people that are more concerned with how cool they are, actually look like morons to us. And yes, we did that at some point in our lives too, but we grew out of it, and we no longer want to associate with people that haven't.

So try to take into account your audience when you're typing. If you came to this site because you need help with something, you're not talking to a group of 12 year olds. It's called respect. If you want someone's help, be respectful and ask for it in an intelligent manner. If you're commenting on how unfair it is that your parents want to see your Facebook, again, don't make yourself look stupid to us, because we're not going to side with you. In fact we'll probably wish your parents would ban you from using the Internet completely.

If you want to type like that to your friends, fine. We don't care. If your friends think you're cool for writing like that, then go for it. I might be at a loss for how it's cool to look stupid, but what do I know? I'd rather not look like a moron, and if that means I'm uncool, so be it. Anyone who thinks that way is just another idiot to me, and why on Earth would I care what an idiot thinks?

I'm not saying all of this to be mean. I'm saying it to try and help you. If you're so outraged by this that you want to grab your pitchfork and torch, then maybe you should come back in a year or two and reread this and see what you think. I am half willing to bet though, that if you bother to respond, it will be in fairly correct spelling and grammar, because otherwise you'd prove my point (and I likely wouldn't bother reading it).

I'm not telling you to be perfect. I'm just asking people to make an effort. I make mistakes all the time. I'm also putting myself at risk for attack on every mistake I do make with writing this. Like I said though, I'm just asking for an effort. Here's what I'm talking about:

  • 'U' is not how 'you' is spelled... and 'your' is not an acceptable spelling of 'your' or 'you're'... using text speak at every chance makes us cry.

  • StIcKy CaPs ArE oBnOxIoUs

  • WE DON'T LIKE BEING YELLED AT.

  • W0rd5 d0 n07 h4v3 numb3r5 1n th3m.

  • Homonyms. Learn them. Please for God's sake! (their, there, they're; your, you're, etc).

  • Apostrophes, commas, and periods are awesome. Punctuation saves lives.

  • It's nice when people know the difference between the plural and possessive use. Bonus points for correct contractions.

  • pleez fynd a dicshunaree befor yew fynd yor keebord.

  • Acronyms are okay here and there, please don't overdo it LOL.

Before you go all '1 CN TYP3 HOW 1 WONT!' on me, I assure you, that yes you can. I'm just trying to tell you that the majority of people on the Internet will think you're stupid and not want to talk to you, take you seriously, or think anything you say means anything. You can type as you please, and we can think as we please.

I'm just asking you to screw with us. Please. Make us think you're an intelligent member of society. It doesn't have to be true. It can be your secret identity on the Internet. You can be a 12 year old that doesn't know how to add for all we know, but you can make us think you're older and wiser, and that maybe what you say means something.

So if you have a question or some super deep philosophical point to make. Try using a dictionary, some punctuation, and make sure your Caps Lock is in the off position. Society thanks you.

   

   

Comments

Punctuation saves lives.
 

Brilliant and hilarious. 

 

Thank you for this public service announcement.  I agree with all your points.  Everyone I know agrees.  I could go on about this topic for days.  Thank you for voicing it.  

Thanks! The punctuation saves lives bit was actually from something I saw on the Internet... It went something like:

Let's eat Grandma!
Let's eat, Grandma!
Punctuation saves lives.

And now I always think of eating people whenever I try and find the best way to punctuate. :)

 Capitalization: The difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

 :D

And CORRECT punctuation is the difference between:

A woman: without her, man is nothing.

A woman, without her man, is nothing.

Because this one is right, right?
A woman, without her man, is nothing.

*walks away with hands in pockets, whistling to self*

Getting rid of the "loosing" crowd is going to be a problem. Who are they?

 

"I am loosing my house to the bank this week..."

Again, punctuation saves lives.  :D

You know, now that I think about it... isn't the correct way to say "Helping your Uncle Jack off of a horse."??? Or am I wrong?

Depends on how big your hands are.. Silly..

"Hey everyone who likes to cook & eat my wife tried something new tonight!!!" ((as seen on facebook))

Seriously? It matters. Always.

 There was a post on Failbook titled "Seriously, Dude. Commas" It went:

wake up eat poop school eat school poop running work work eat poop sleep

Both are correct and both can be traced back several hundred years. 

English speakers outside of the United States tend toward "off" whilst American English speakers tend toward "off of." 

So you are not wrong but neither is using just "off."  And it makes the bit work. :)

Yes.  Commas!  But poop running is funny to contemplate.

You saw poop running, but not the two 'eat poop's?

I saw all the combinations.   Poop running was the funniest, to me.

To clarify, I think we've all heard the expression eat poop - or used it.  But poop running is a weird combination of action like sleep walking only with the added sophomoric humor appeal.

 

I have never used the phrase "eat poop" (just for the record), but poop running makes me giggle everytime.

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